Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Independence Day

The Preamble To The United States Constitution:

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

The Bill of Rights Amendments To The United States Constitution:

THE BILL OF RIGHTSAmendments 1-10 of the Constitution
The Conventions of a number of the States having, at the time of adopting the Constitution, expressed a desire, in order to prevent misconstruction or abuse of its powers, that further declaratory and restrictive clauses should be added, and as extending the ground of public confidence in the Government will best insure the beneficent ends of its institution;
Resolved, by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America, in Congress assembled, two-thirds of both Houses concurring, that the following articles be proposed to the Legislatures of the several States, as amendments to the Constitution of the United States; all or any of which articles, when ratified by three-fourths of the said Legislatures, to be valid to all intents and purposes as part of the said Constitution, namely:

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Amendment II

A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

Amendment III

No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

Amendment IV

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Amendment V

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Amendment VI

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense.

Amendment VII

In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Amendment VIII

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Amendmen IX

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

Amendment X

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people.


To honor these rights established by the founders of our government, we must push for the impeachement of Richard Cheney from the Office of The Vice Presidency of the United States. We must insist that Presidential Signing Statements be abolished by law as they are a de facto Line Item Veto ruled unconstitutional by the Supreme Court in Clinton v. New York.

On this July 4th, please understand that our Constitution has been in jeopardy for quite some time. We can no longer afford to allow our representatives to think we do not care. We must let them know we are active participants in our democracy. Voting is not enough. We must contact them and tell them we do care, we want them to honor the laws of our land and hold those in government who do not accountable.

Men and women died fighting Great Britain for our Independence. Those who dared to sign onto our Constitution were threatened and murdered. Those that came before us died fighting to end slavery. They died fighting for equal rights for minorities and women. They died protesting to end the Vietnam War. The least we can do is take the time to call our Congressmen and Senators and ask them to restore the rule of law and impeach a man that has hijacked our government and spit on our Constitution.

Have a Happy July 4th Liberal Drinkers and please, do more than eat hot dogs and drink beer to celebrate the day our founding fathers signed the document that gave us the foundation of our democracy.

"An elective despotism is not the government we fought for."

- Thomas Jefferson.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

But Where Are The Frickin Sharks With Frickin Laser Beams?

Among the multitude of exasperating items in the news this week, the one that has to be my favorite is that the Pentagon has spent 78 Beeeeeellion Dollars researching Gay Bombs, Teleporting, Invisibility Armor and Sharks, not Frickin Laser Beams but chemical implants and cameras.

Who the hell is running the Pentagon these days, a bunch of nerdy sixth grade boys? I imagine one of their chief strategists pitching these ideas as follows: "Dudes!!! I know...I know what we do....let's make the bad soldier guys gay and stuff and then our invisible soldiers can bolt right past the bad guys while you know they're doing all that gay stuff and then and then our soldiers can teleport back to the sea base before the gay stuff wears off the bad guys and meet our awesome sharks with cameras that took pictures of the bad guys doin gay stuff for blackmail."

Then I imagine another Pentagon strategist in the meeting replying: "Whooaaaa! RADICAL IDEA DUDE! Awww shit dudes, I gotta go...Mom just texted me, it's time for dinner..we're havin frickin meatloaf again dudes, sooooo bogus. Later!"

Hold whole thing really isn't funny. Now that I think of it, I'm actually pissed off about this. Now my Austin Powers DVD boxed set isn't worth squat, frickin fifty bucks down the drain. How can I laugh at Doctor Evil's ridiculously idiotic plots when my frickin government is just as frickin stupid as a fictional character dreamed up by the funny yet Canadian SNL alum Mike Myers? What's next? A Heat-Seeking Schwinger Missile? Oh....wait, maybe that's what they were going to call the Gay Bomb.

Speaking of Doctor Evil...Dick Cheney has informed Congress that he declared his office is not part the Executive Branch and is therefore exempt from executive orders. Whaaaat?! So what frickin branch is his frickin evil self a part of? Judicial? No, thank Keeeriiist! Cheney on the bench would make Tony 'The Duck Slayer' Scalia look like a member of Code Pink. Congress? Damn, I wish! He'd have been booted out with his GOP buddies last November.

No.... according to this web page, the Office of the Vice President is indeed included as part of the Executive Branch. So Dick's dream of having his very own personal branch of our government (The Corporate Branch?) is, well, delusional. But why would Dick not want to be part of the Executive Club anymore? I know he and Condi don't get on so well. And I'm sure he misses his little Rummy-poo somethin awful. But, it's not 'co-worker' issues vexing our Closet VP, it's oversight.

Dick Cheney has blocked every effort to oversee his 'public service'. And when the Information Security Oversight Office tried to gain access to inspect his historically leaky office as required by executive order, he intervened to block the inspection. When the ISOO appealed to the Justice Department to force compliance, Dick Cheney asked AG Gonzales to abolish the ISOO.

How can Dead-Eye Dick hide his visitor logs from public scrutiny by turning them over to the White House so they would be protected from FOIA laws and then claim that his office is not part of the Executive Branch? Cuz he's Dick 'Frickin' Cheney and he'll frickin hide what he wants when he wants, including himself. So, how do we stop this mad-man that's hijacked our government and declared himself above our laws?

While it would be sooooo gratifying to stuff him into a rocket-sized Big Boy statue and launch him into space rather than dealing with his delusions of uber-grandeur , I imagine that's no more realistic or legal than what Dick's been trying to pull over the last six years. So, we need to write Henry 'Danger' Waxman and encourage his efforts to hold Dick's head under the law. And then we need to support his side-kick, Dennis Kucinich's effort to legally remove Dick from all of the branches of our government.

And if the Congress folk more concerned with 2008 than the present tell us insolent little American people to zip it? Well, we've got a secret weapon of our own. Just give them a one word answer that will make their blood run cold....Bloomberg. Who needs frickin sharks with frickin laser beams? We have the vote.


Thursday, June 14, 2007

All The Rage

Waaa waaa wee waaa! Dubya McNearbeer The Albanian Idol finally found a place other than Texassistan where the crowds don't need to be hand-picked and nobody makes fun of his broken English! Since 79% of the citizens of the country he is supposed to be 'leading', feel the United States is headed in the wrong direction; maybe we could get John Conyers to work out a deal with their President Alfred Moisiu (or as Dubya likes to call him...Alfie The Albanian). Instead of impeaching Bush, we can just deport him to Albania, the one country that likes him. To sweeten the deal we'll throw in a life-time supply of Swatches and O'Douls. Oh yeah, and while you're at it John, see if Transylvania will take Cheney.

This week, while 'Merkans were rapt with schadenfreude at the plight of a poor little rich girl that got thrown in the pokey; a trend formed by corpulent pasty wealthy geezers bent on WWIII has been trying desperately to take off. For weeks they've been trying to blame violence in Iraq on Iran even without any credible evidence. But much to their chagrin, I guess 'Merkans aren't so ready to believe their latest fish tale about weapons. The Neocons even trotted out their favorite Non-Partisan Ass Coverer, Joe Lieberman and had him hit the Sunday talk shows to promote the Bomb Iran idea. Tough luck for them, it turns out that idea is as popular as New Coke and Americans have no interest in further regime change save their own.

Here's a little fact that the overpaid dumb as a bag of door-knobs Democratic strategists haven't a clue about; the United States is not trending towards conservatism and the Democrats do not need to move to the right to get elected. Conservatives actually really really suck at swaying public opinion for extended periods of time and Karl Rove is not the boy genius they think he is. He fashions lies and then tells his charge to just keep repeating his lies. Whoop de fucking doo! Being an asshole does not necessarily make one a genius people.

Sorry but the simple tactic of repeating sing-songy hollow disengenuous phrases ad infinitum does not a real lasting political movement make. Eventually they grow stale and become fodder for the late night comedians to mock. Yeah, yeah I know...the infamous propagandist Goebbels said if you repeat a lie enough it becomes the truth....but as Steven Colbert has illustrated it really only becomes the truthiness. And by the way...Goebbels ended shooting himself in the head.

Let's see...what contemporary Conservative ideals have a shot at becoming an enduring societal trend? Abstinence Only Education? From what I hear, it literally sucks. Creationism? America, please give me a show of hands from those that want medical students who diagnose, operate and prescribe drugs to study the Bible instead of biology text books. Conservative Family Values? Okaaaay...the highest polling GOP candidate has three divorces under his belt and a 25 year old trophy wife. The second highest polling GOP candidate is another serial divorcer that also seems to enjoy cross dressing but since his first marriage was to a second cousin that might help him connect with voters in the reddest of states. Oh yeah, he announced his second divorce during a press conference without telling his wife first and his children don't speak to him. Ohio's own Steve LaTourette used a fax machine to tell his wife he was divorcing her to hook up with one of his young female aides. Two names: Ted Haggard and Mark Foley. And finally...oh the hell with it...just read this.

So I'm just guessing here, but as an amateur trend-watcher I'd say that the 2006 elections that yanked the Congress from GOP was just the beginning of a long trend in America back towards the left of center political position or as I like to call it...sanity. I mean even, it's inventor, believes that Neoconservatism is sooooo yesterday.

And while the Cons have dominated the AM radio dial for decades, the left was messing around with Al Gore's silly internets. Gee, I wonder which of those two will be the bigger influence on our society twenty years from now?

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Chicken Hawk Littles

Okay. Unlike the latest round of Bushies testifying in AttorneyGate, I can recall my past statements and admit to you all that I finally broke down...I watched the Democratic POTUS debate in New Hampshire last Sunday night with my fellow Cleveland Liberal Drinkers. Yeah, I know, I steadfastly and resolutely stated that it was too early for this shit. But I'm a weak-kneed Frenchified liberal remember? You know the type..those that want to fight Al Qaeda with spitballs and let Al Gore's Hippy Commie Pinko Brigade force me to use just one measly square of TP to wipe my ass?

Duh! I'm nothing like the brave patriotic Republix RNC Chairman from Arkansas who says we need more 9/11's and that not enough innocent Merkan civilians can receive the honor of dying in order to prove The Decider is always right! Sigh, the sheer bravery it must take to follow one verrry unpopular man's ever changing words and rationale for invading a country based on manufactured intelligence and the guidance of gutless military-service-avoiding theorists. I am in awe.

Anyway, the Mediacracy disappointed as usual....just the most dumbass yet lazy questions by Wolf 'Puhleeeeeze Don't Hurt Me Uncka Dick' Blitzer I'd ever heard. He asked the slate to raise their hand to answer more questions than an all-day kindergarten teacher with a wicked hangover. It would not have shocked me in the least if Wolfie asked them to raise the left hand if they needed to go 'Number One' or the right one to go 'Number Two'.

And if you hadn't noticed yet; the non-pee-pee/ca-ca questions to the Dems from the Fourth Estate (cough) Cocktail Weenie/Martini Snarfing Mediacracy tended to basically follow GOP talking point framing. The only candidate willing to call that b.s. was John Edwards. He's right. There is no 'War On Terror' and it's merely a 'bumpersticker phrase' the woefully shallow GOP need to retain their grasp onto power. As Keith Olbermann has so adeptly illustrated in two segments: The Inaugural WOT Administration has not tried to prevent any disaster except bad press for themselves and good press for their political opponents. And that's exactly why they push the WOT myth. Well, that and to make their corporate masters ginormous loads of cash. But to illustrate my case, I'll re-cap the achievements of the GOP's beloved War On Terror:

  • NOT ONE of the U.S. terror scares over the last few years has been successfully tied to Al Qaeda, Sadaam or the Iraq insurgency.

  • In every single instance, the NSA Warrantless Domestic Spying program has NOT played a part in 'thwarting' the plots they've so successfully PR'd to make 'Merkans piss their pleated Dockers/High-Waisted Security Mom Jeans.

  • In every instance, the perpetrators were unearthed with old-fashioned police work and the cases have ended up in the courts handled by slimy trial lawyers just as they had during that evil Clinton Administration.

  • The supposed 'liquid bomb' terror plot that originated in Great Britain resulted in most of the defendants being set free. Great Britain does not make their air passengers limit their liquids or gels to 3 ounces or less and what can fit into a Gladd sandwich bag. I spent several weeks in Florida this past winter without hair products. You want terror? Force women to endure flat or frizzy hair for weeks because NOBODY packages an affordable decent hair-styling product in a bottle less than 4 ounces. I was ready to bite someone's ear off after weeks of enduring bad hair.

  • Terrorism has increased since we invaded Iraq, globally, with the highest increase of course inside of Iraq.

  • The 'Shoe Bomber' came from and was on a flight from Great Britain, and yet Great Britain does not require their air passengers to take their shoes off and run them through an X-ray machine before they can go to their gates.

  • How come we are supposed to fear terror on our shores when they all told us that we are fighting them over there so we don't have to fight them here?

So all the macho fear-mongering the Grossly Obtuse Prevaricating party has slung at us like pissed off monkeys do with feces over these last six years and continue to sling during their POTUS debates is nothing but a smoke-screen or.. poop-screen if you will. There is no War on Terror. It's nothing but their desperate attempt at stealing votes and controlling the masses.

Unfortunaely, Sunday evening Hillary joined her GOP colleagues by tucking her brains and ovaries somewhere no one would dare venture and playing the Rudy 'Adulterous 9/11 Profiteer' Giuliani Card at Sunday's debates by posturing herself as some kind of lame wannabe ChickenShitHawk....cuz she's a real New Yawkah yah know...fuckin-A We are safer than we were before Nine-Eeee-leven and Mama Walmart will keep us that way!

America is tired of their leadership using 9/11 to beat them into submission. I imagine that's why Obama's message of hope and Edwards' of pragmatism are so popular. And America is starting to realize there are many other issues unrelated to phantom boogeymen with their evil-doer plots and more germane to their daily lives.

The Henny Pennies in or seeking to gain power need to worry about stemming global climate change and it's affect on agriculture, the fact the Gulf Coast is still a mess from Katrina, the growing income gap, the cost of health care and energy, fair trade policies, workers rights, affordable college, living wage job creation, restoring habeas corpus, the current degradation of our Clean Air/Water acts and so on...these are problems with far greater long term dire implications to millions of people than the red herring 'War On Terror' both parties seem so infatuated with.

For many other reasons unrelated to terrorism our sky might really be falling. During these debates, we'll see who is more interested in working to prop it back up in order to keep us safe allowing us to grow and solve problems or who prefers to use it's impending crash to keep us all in perpetual fear to grab power.