Mah Fella 'Merkans...Kiss Mah Ass

Hello Liberal Drinkers!

I know, I know...you have been waiting with bated breath for my SOTU rebuttal. Sure Jim Webb did a bang up job beyotch-slapping the Promise-breaker In Chief, but I have my own piece to say. Here goes:

My Fellow Americans,

If any of you believed one word out of George Bush's whiskey-hole you are the biggest dumbasses on the planet...nay in the universe. If you really did and aren't doing anything this weekend; I'd love to play a few games of poker with you. Please bring a covered dish and your life's savings. Momma needs a new pair of shoes!

Thank you and God Bless 'Merka.

While most of Dubya's speech was nothing more than recyled ca-ca, a few things did pique my interest this time around. The first being what he didn't say. There was not one mention of New Orleans or the Gulf Coast. What happened to the promises he made to the region in the 2006 SOTU? Or during that choreographed Well Lit Jackson Square New Orleans Is Gonna Rise Again Bullhorn Moment? Nothing? No shit. Has he not even shared the promised Rocking Chair/Mint Julep On Lott's Porch Moment with his party's new Minority Leader? No? I suppose if he had; we'd have seen it on an infinite loop on Fox News while Sean Hannity simultaneously creamed his pleated Dockers in a yellow school bus.

Next, I nearly shot a swig of a very nice buttery chardonnay from my nose when Bush brought up his nifty 'tax-break' solution to get all us 'Merkans health insurance coverage. Dude, if I don't make enough money to afford my own health insurance then I don't pay enough income tax to qualify for the effing deduction! That guy's never seen a 1040 in his life has he? Sorry...that's a dumb rhetorical question.

Third, I noticed he failed to acknowledge a very important person in attendance. He gave POTUS props to that guy who saved that kid on the subway tracks in NYC, an immigrant NBA player, a soldier (of course) and some chick who came up with the earth shatteringly brilliant idea of playing classical music to fetuses. Yet one of Hillary Clinton's guests, Cesar Borja Jr. the son of a real American hero, went unacknowledged as did his father. Cesar Sr. died as a result of the Bush administration's intentional incompetence. That Bush invoked the 9/11 tragedy as a knife to twist in our nation's back for the umpteenth time to scare us into accepting the escalation in Iraq; yet failed to acknowledge Cesar Borja Sr. & son speaks volumes.

Finally, heck...I'll just cut and paste this one directly from the transcript:

"A second task we can take on together is to design and establish a volunteer Civilian Reserve Corps. Such a corps would function much like our military reserve. It would ease the burden on the Armed Forces by allowing us to hire civilians with critical skills to serve on missions abroad when America needs them. It would give people across America who do not wear the uniform a chance to serve in the defining struggle of our time. "

Excuse me? Personal aside to Dubya McAwol: Struggle this! If civilians want to 'serve' in your imperialistic clusterf*cks they can apply to Halliburton, Dyncorp, CACI or Blackwater. In that case at least they can sock away a couple of hundred thousand bucks to set their families up before they die in vain. Maybe you could tie this program to your Faith Based Vote Bribery Initiative...sign up just those lucky Kreeeshtjuhns who unconditionally love you for bringing Armeggedon so close to fruition.

There's no telling what direction a Civilian Reserve Corps could lead our nation to...well that's not entirely true. Bush neglects to understand that even his rabid kreeshtjuhn followers are loathe to risk their own hides let alone their spawn's to volunteer to serve in his struggle. Putting the safe sounding 'Civilian' label on the package doesn't fool anyone.

Regardless of what was actually said, Bush's message to the voters who kicked his Rubberstampers to the curb and the new Democratic Majority led Congress boils down to this: Kiss my ass. I'm sending more troops to Iraq and there's nothing you can do about it. And since the last (GOP controlled) session of Congress appropriated a nice chunk of change before they closed for good, he's right. There really isn't anything Congress can do to stop this......for now.