Gobble Gobble Gobble

Hello Liberal Drinkers,

First order of biz, no DL meeting this Sunday as it's a holiday weekend. I expect you all will have gained at least six pounds by then and need to regain your sanity from a whole weekend with relatives. If you are like me, part of a 'mixed' family, you will be forced to spend many hours in close proximity with hardcore Republicans. So kids, I leave you with some advice for this especially special 2006 Thanksgiving.

1. Do not call your in-law who is a loyal Limbaugh fan a 'Dicko-head'. I tried it once, believe me when I say they do not appreciate clever plays on words. Feel free to point out that he/she blindly supports a man who made his immigrant cleaning lady go on drug runs for him, brings a month's worth of viagra on a weekend junket to a third world country known for it's underage sex trade and mocks people inflicted with deadly incurable debilitating diseases. Laugh mockingly when he/she defends him. Duck when they throw the turkey leg at you.
2. For those of you with pro-life relatives of child-bearing age who are against embryonic stem-cell research, remind them that there are thousands of snowflake babies available to take up residence for 9 months in their family's uterus-owner. Do not ask them to pass the mashed potatoes immediately afterward. Don't forget to duck if they grab the other turkey leg, one of those to the forehead can leave a nasty welt.
3. Drink wine, beer, vodka, grain alchol, whiskey, cough syrup...whatever you can get your hands on to get through the day. Best to use up a favor by having a spouse/date/friend on hand as your sober chauffeur.
4. Gloat. When the subject of the elections comes up? Dance around chanting 'Blue Ohio! In Your Face!' while smacking your own ass. Hey...how many times did these jackoffs tell you that you were a traitor for not thinking Dubya McPoppy'sGottasavemyass is the next best thing since...oh yeah...God? Do this immediately after dinner before the tryptophan kicks in while you still have the energy.
5. If Grandma/Grandpa is Republican...ah don't do anything except remind them that voting day for national elections has been changed to February 9th.
6. Corrupt your nieces and nephews with Republican parents. Talk about global warming and the monster deficit they're going to get stuck with because their folks needed a tax break to fit spa trips and golf weekends into the family budget. If they're under five just teach them to say "Bush Sucks".
7. Remember that 1 through six are just jokes. Enjoy your holiday. Savor the food and the time you spend with your family. Eat, drink, laugh, reminisce, and remember that blood is thicker than politics.

One last thing. A little shout of thankfulness to all of you who have participated in and supported this chapter, I am soooo thankful for the wonderful people I have had the pleasure to get to know, converse, drink and laugh with over these last two years. Have a great holiday kids. See you December 3rd.

Liberally and thankfully yours,

Judy