The Cleveland Drinking Liberally Blog

Why I Really Really Hate Sarah Palin

2009-08-24T20:42:00.000-07:00

On Christmas Eve in 2006, I received a call from my sister about an hour before they were due to come to our house for a holiday dinner. Our mother, who had been battling colon cancer since her diagnosis in May, had collapsed and been rushed to the hospital.

My parents were at their home in Florida at the time. They had been love-slash-snow-birds for about 10 years. They were so happy down there doing their own thing. You'd call them in October after they settled in and they'd sound like they were dating again, giggly...having a blast.

They decided she would have her cancer treatment down in Fla because the side-effects of chemo included intolerance to temperature. Cleveland is too cold. Plus they had so many friends down there for support.

In September she had an MRI that showed the tumors had been eliminated. She did not tolerate the chemo well, was barely over 90 pounds when they halted it after the MRI. Of course, her oncologist said she should have her last two chemo treatments when she got up to 92 pounds, even though her MRI was clear. So after Thanksgiving...they put her back on it, she had two treatments in the following few weeks

Then, she started losing weight at an alarming rate and could not keep food in her system. At her funeral her friends told me the last time they saw her was December 10th. I believe that's about the time the chemo started doing it's damage. Mere days after her last treatment

I booked a flight down there on Christmas Day as did my other siblings. A couple of days later, she looked good. I got to joke around with her and make her laugh as I always love to do. When you could get a real laugh out of my mom? It was big, loud and beautiful. I got one of those out of her. We thought it was OK to go back home to Cleveland, that she would be back home with our Dad shortly after.

Weeks went by...we were told she had C-Diff, an infection unfortunately too many folks get in the hospital. But no, that's not it. I flew back and forth, paying through the nose to go see her stuck in a hospital, still losing weight, not getting better. My mom's condition kept declining and the hospital kept attributing it to everything else but her cancer or the effects of the chemo.

Finally, a few days after I returned home from the last trip I received a call from my sister again telling me my mom was at the end. But when we got there what we found was the hospital still trying to treat her and the doctors refusing to tell my father it was no longer going to work.

My mom was a totally different person from the last time I saw her. She was drugged for sure but she was also pissed. She wanted to die. But nobody would let her. Picture a kleenex draped over a pencil...that's what her arms and legs looked like. She was starving to death, she had no muscle left, her body had cannibalized every ounce of muscle and fat. I was told at that time she maybe weighed in the 60's. Her skin was full of black marks, a needle mark left a bruise the size of an apple.

So, while we're there and she's pissed and in pain and sick of shitting herself and waiting 45 minutes for somebody to clean her up; the doctor decides she needs a sigmoidoscopy. I'm in the room when the doctor comes in and recommends this. My mom's face just falls. My dad's face brightens, The Doctor is trying to save his unsaveable wife.

I dare to ask the doctor if this is wise, because my mom is staring at me....pleading... 'Don't let them do this to me'...I know her, that's what she is saying. My dad who wants to save her at all costs, who hasn't had a doctor willing to be honest with him yet, talks her into it and glares at me for thinking otherwise. At that point she gives up trying to have a dignified death. At that point I give up trying to help her get one. I still remember mouthing to her 'I tried' and her turning her head away. That moment haunts me still today.

After the Futile Sigmoidoscopy and the ridiculously horrifying attempt at making a dying woman who weighs less than 60 pounds get up and do physical therapy....us kids finally have enough. We talk to my dad into having a conversation her oncologist whose responsible for keeping this bullshit going.

The doctor meets with us in the corridor outside of my mom's room.

I tower over and easily outweigh her by half. So, I have the guts to ask her very pointedly: 'Do you think my mom can gain the weight back...all 60 plus pounds she needs to and go back home and get better or do you think she is, in reality, dying and we need to get her to hospice?'

Undaunted..she smiles at me...and I'm so blown away by the ovaries this woman has to form a fucking smile at a moment like this. Smiling Dr. Ginormous Ovaries says 'I don't know'. But the kicker comes next. She says this: "I'm so disappointed, I thought she (aka my dying mom) was a fighter". This bitch did not just diss my mom for dying did she? Yes, she did.

I reply to the effect: 'Yeah lady...my mom is dying just to disappoint your pathetically self-important piece of crap ego'...I think.. in a more polite way, probably not, but who knows. I hardly remember, it's still fuzzy to this day.

My brother grabs my arm and pulls me down the hall. My dad is not amused. I make no apology. I really want to run back down that hallway and drag the smug doctor by her hair over to my mother and make her sit with her for the next hour so she can see. I want to make her put Vaseline on her cracked lips and stroke her head like I've been doing for the last hour. I want to make her understand the gravity...the humanity of what we're going through.

That meeting finally helped convince my dad to get my mom to hospice. After waiting for two hours on a gurney under the emergency canopy to be moved a quarter of a mile down the road...my mom died 11 hours later. She weighed something like 55 pounds.

We said our goodbyes at the hospital....my dad wanted to be alone with her. I understand. They were the quintessential love story, I've never known two people who loved each other more. He tried to live without her but loved her so much, he didn't last much longer without her and died literally a week after she had this past February.

But..looking back as we are all prone to do. My family sure could have used one of those Evil Nazi death panels to help us all decide what to do. But no....no psychologist or psychiatrist visited us at all. Wasn't covered by that awesome Private Insurance Company...or Medicare for that matter.

Nobody with any authority or professional experience helped my dad make the right decisions for her or himself. Nobody helped us kids help him or her.

The woman who had brought us all into this world; who had kissed our boo-boos, dried our tears, stood up for us against bullies, made our Halloween costumes, nursed us through sickness & health, who had counseled us all on so many things that made our lives better literally up until the moment she couldn't....was treated like a freaking number...like a dollar sign by the system and duped the man who loved her more than himself into thinking he could save her so the system could make more money.

I dare Sarah Palin to tell me to my face that end-of-life counseling is a 'Death Panel'...I'd tell 'Miss You Betcha' about how when I went to Florida for my mother's funeral in the first week of February, that under the Christmas tree my dad left up for my mom in case she came home, I found the gift he meant to give her and in the card I found atop the beautiful sweater he wanted her to have...my Dad wrote: 'My Darling I will love you for Eternity'.

My father spent about two years trying to live without the love of his life. It didn't go well. He didn't know how. We tried so hard to be there for him but we were his snot-nosed kids whose butts he used to wipe.

We found out after he died from the lawyers he hired to prepare his estate and the financial advisors who held his accounts, that when they called him to talk to him about what he should do...he'd spend the whole time crying. They told us this happens often with widowers, they don't know how to function without their partners. My dad let everything go, the estate lost more money than I care to even think about because I know he didn't want that to happen but he was just so lost.

Had both of my parents had access to some real end-of-life counseling....spent some time together talking with a mental health professional, health professionals, etc. I think their story would have ended differently, I think their story might not be over. My heart tells me my father would still be alive. At the very least...a lot of unnecessary pain would have been avoided. And as you can tell from this post....that pain has a lasting effect.

End of life counseling is absolutely one of the most important services we can cover under healthcare. Ironically, before Sarah Palin became famous for being the World's Worst Running Mate Pick...she felt the same.

Sigh. I hate this woman but that doesn't change things, does it? Only we can.

Hollow Men

2009-03-26T15:07:00.000-07:00

Today John 'Oompa Loompa' Boehner stepped in front a room full of reporters at a press conference House Republicans invited said reporters to, in response to Obama's challenge to present their own Republican budget. Unsurprisingly, hilarity ensued.

When a stunned reporter asked why the numbers and facts that would normally be an essential component of what anyone with half a brain would call a budget, were missing; His Orangeness was forced to spin the five page document that, remember they invited the press to report on, as 'a 'blueprint' for a budget. Are you kidding me?

So the House Republicans made a huge public event out of showing everyone their plan for their plan. Really. This is how elected Republican representatives answer a challenge posed by a Democratic President of The United States. Isn't that kind of like calling the dean and your profs together to present your thesis and then handing them your outline? Frankly I'm not surprised. The Republicans don't like legislating, it's hard work.

Of course what Republicans did present was what any college prof would call plagiarism, you know copying an old well published idea and presenting it as new? Gee, I wonder how a struggling nation so disgusted by wealthy Wall Streeters gaming the system and getting bonuses for failing would view a big tax cut for those bastards? Because there are soooo many of us still buying their 'trickle-down' nonsense. It's almost as if they are itching for a pitchfork up the ass.

Instead of coming up with a real budget or working with the President to repair the damage their lack of real leadership wrought on this nation for 8 years, what is the ever unravelling right wing doing? Calling him fascist and 'uppity'. Fomenting ridiculous rumours. Attacking his wife and presenting legislation to track her activities. Oh no! That radical Michelle Obama actually planted a White House kitchen garden!!! How long will it be before we are all forced to work on government farms for rubles?

What all of this tells us is....the party that prides itself on ideology have no real ideas themselves. They rediscovered their dubious claim to Fiscal Responsibility well after they took the country from billions in surplus to trillions in deficit. But, only because the people took away their power. While 'their leader' was in office, Republicans passed whatever he wanted. They wouldn't even include the illegal unnecessary war he started in the budget in an effort to hide how badly they were screwing the pooch.

What's funny is that even their insults and conspiracy theories are unoriginal. Bush has been called a fascist, so they call Obama a fascist. They've taken the Bush concentration camp rumour and recycled into the Obama Fema concentration camp rumour. Haven't they heard that Bush was the Anti-Christ waaaaay before Obama could have been? You can't have two Antichrists as far as I know, that would be overkill...the whole idea of an Antichrist is that it's one scary dude...if he has a brother or cousin or something....eh. That means there's family involved and don't we all have one relative we think might be the Antichrist? I know I do.

I'm sure a lot of liberals and Dems are out there very outraged at the GOP for all of the crazy crap they're flinging at the wall...especially because some of this stuff is beyond the pale. And frightening. But just remember, they're doing it because they have nothing of any real value to offer anyone, and the American people realize this.

The GOP is an archaic group, addicted to oligarchy, immune to the repercussions of their bent towards sending the poor to war to make them money masked in their 'strong national security platform', apathetic towards the plight of the less fortunate, a party organized around the entitlement of wealth that uses the age old tactic of divide and conquer to grab and maintain power.

...in other words they are Hollow Men. And their time is up, at least for now. It's up to us to keep it that way.

Green Is Good

2009-03-12T16:26:00.001-07:00

Hat tip to Mr. Madoff and Gordon Gecko for the inspiration for this week's post title. I just decided to put a different spin on it...I hope the financial jack-offs that have destroyed our system don't mind. Or as Jon Stewart would say to them "F**k You!".

I have a confession to make fellow Cleveland Liberal Drinkers, not only am I a liberal...I'm one of those tree-huggin kind. Environmentalist whacko member of the NRDC and Defenders of Wildlife? Check. Granola for breakfast? Check. Community gardener? Check. And finally... Birkenstock wearer? Check. What? They're reaaallly comfortable and have cork soles which are a renewable resource! Sheesh!

Anyway, my love of the green life really took hold when I started gardening for the first time in my life, the year Mr. Drinking Liberally and I decided to buy a house and take root ourselves. Prior to, I lived in apartments for 8 years and there wasn't a houseplant that had a prayer if I got my mitts on it. But, then I inherited this little plot of land in front of my house. I had never mowed a lawn in all my years either and wasn't about to start that lame never-ending exercise, so I made my whole front yard nothing but garden. Much to my neighbors' chagrin I suppose but they're used to it now.

My life changing epiphany occurred that first spring when I glimpsed the plump pointy tops of the tulips and daffodils I had planted the previous fall poking out of the soil in my garden....'It's ALIVE!' I exclaimed. I felt like God. And that's huge for an ex-Catholic. I created life...well, Gales Garden Center helped a little bit. But I stuck them in the ground, fed them yummy organic fertilizer and mulched the little darlings so they'd burst forth and join nature in all it's glory.

Two years after my Frankensteinesque epiphany over tulips and daffodils, I joined a community garden. I read every book I could find on the subject of gardening, subscribed to magazines, started growing my own food and became a pathetic slave to the indescribably delicious taste of the first ripe homegrown heirloom beefsteak tomato from my own plant. Today, I'm like Gollum and his elusive ring with that first ripe tomato...it's sooo precious sliced thinly and layed lovingly upon lightly toasted white bread with a thin layer of real mayo, salt and pepper. Mr. DL can't come near me when I make my first tomato sandwich of the summer or he'll lose a digit.

I guess what I'm trying to accomplish with my tempting anecdote is to convince all of you out there in CDL Land to grow your own food or if you're not able to, at least buy your vegetables at a local CSA or farmers market.

Growing your own has a different meaning these days. It doesn't mean 15-25 in the Big House but access to affordable healthy food that didn't need to travel 1000 miles on fossil fuels or was harvested by slave labor. Buying local isn't 'protectionist', it's smart. By supporting small local and urban farming, you not only reduce the amount of fossil fuels the industry uses but you help create jobs in your own neighborhood and a vibrant local economy.

If every country grew their own food to feed their own populations, there would be no for need huge factory farms here in America that pollute our air, water and soil. Or trade laws in other countries that force poor farmers to grow commodity crops instead of food their people desperately need. There is a wonderful organization called Oxfam that helps people third world countries do just that....unfortunately those places have to fight the same big companies like ADM, Dow and Monsanto that we do. The best way to counter Big Ag is to get involved in the local food movement.

The local food movement here in Cleveland is vibrant and growing. We have over 200 community gardens around the city. Urban farms are popping up everywhere and the Cleveland City Council even passed an ordinance making it easier for folks to keep chickens and bees. Since the foreclosure madness swept North East Ohio, municipalities are razing abandoned condemned houses and letting the land be used as gardens and small farms. An empty abandoned lot can become a productive local resource with some raised beds...or a beautiful orchard. Nothing is impossible because we have the land and imagination to remake our landscape. We have the opportunity to feed each other in every aspect..mind, body and soul.

Food and nature are themes in our lives that have the singular ability to bring people together and create lasting bonds. All of us have a favorite memory of meals with loved ones or taking refuge in the shade of a tree on a hot summer day. We remember picking stawberries at a local farm as children or having to weed to get an allowance. Some of us may have tended vegetable gardens with our parents or grandparents and remember that time we shared with fondness.

For those of us who love to garden, there is nothing more Zen than weeding early in the morning on a summer day before the wasps and bees wake up to get in our way...sitting still on occasion so as not to scare the robin less than two feet from you who is picking a bug from the soil you've just turned over; watching his/her careful deliberation in finding the bug, amazed in the trust they have you won't harm them or the risk they're taking to get food for their young.

Maybe I'm romanticizing the work of gardening a bit...it is hard, I've been laid up on the couch or a day or two after spreading 2 yards of humus on the community garden. I've gotten the dreaded 'wore the wrong t-shirt' sunburns that don't fade until six months later. Running a farm in the city has to have it's challenges as well.

But, what little pain there is in growing your own food, running an urban farm or searching out local resources we experience pales in comparison to the damage relying on Big Agriculture for food, something so essential to our survival, wreaks on our society as a whole.

So Cleveland DL'ers...this summer, think about finding a spot to grow your own or at least finding a connection to some great local food. Green is good.

When People Show You Who They Are...Believe Them

2009-03-05T18:06:00.000-08:00

While I expected the GOP to resist Obama's plan to save us from the brink of the destructive path they put us on well more than 8 years ago, I never dreamed of the absolutely mentally deranged reaction they are exhibiting now. Normal intellectual opposition is fine. We need folks to look at all angles and provide constructive criticism, but that's not what we're seeing.

What we are seeing reminds me of the time I accidentally came upon a potentially rabid possum cornered in my garage in the middle of the day. A scavenging creature used to skulking around in the dark; it was sick, scared and pissed, it had nasty teeth, claws and made the most gawdawful noises I've ever heard in my life.

So, of course that nightmarish episode reminded me of Michelle Bachmann (R-Stalker), a frightened sick scavenging angry creature who is really worried that we'll run out of rich people and Obama is going to make us a socialist country. My favorite Bachmann Crazy Overdrive quote comes when she discusses energy and healthcare: "And as the Democrats are about to nationalize cartels"...implying that our energy and healthcare industries are cartels...which would mean they'd be operating illegally. That's probably the first truthful utterance that's ever made it's way out of her psychotic Botoxed pie-hole, albeit accidentally.

Then there's the 'We Hope He Fails Crowd' following like rats entranced by the syphillitic rantings of their overly pie'd piper, the ginormous impotent college drop out, failed sportscaster and former(?) drug addict Rush 'Women Don't Like Me? Really?" Limbaugh.

I love how they say it's not that they hope "he" meaning Obama fails, but they hope what they call his liberal socialist plan to save the country fails. Because that would mean everything they believe in might be wrong and they won't control government anymore...so if the United States has to become a third world country mired in conflict, poverty, starvation, and genocide like say, Zimbabwe...so be it. At least their principles will be intact.

Wasn't this the party that used the tag-line "Country First" in their bid to beat Obama? I guess they don't get the connection or irony. I'm hardly surprised seeing they thought we'd all embrace a corrupt hate-baiting shallow bloodthirsty Hockey Mom for VP.

Next, we have the ground-breaking new RNC leader, Michael Steele. A political cross-dresser who made and distributed campaign signs and literature calling himself a Democrat so he could get elected in Maryland. He's ready to bring the hip-hop to fat white rich guys who yell at their kids for listening to Kanye West. He hates Rush. He loves Rush. Whatever, somebody puuuhhhleeez just tell him what to do so he can keep his plum job as RNC chair. If Mike loses this job, how can he be a loyal Republican who looks down on other people who don't have jobs? The universe would explode.

But my favorite Republican Idealogue of the week goes to another accidentally honest Republican who revealed his core belief that healthcare is indeed a privilege of class rather than a basic human right. To put this in perspective, this elected representative is from Tennessee, a state with more letters in it's moniker than people with jobs that provide said privileged healthcare.

What Zach Wamp (Sorry, but what a great porn name...dude really missed his calling) is telling Americans who work two or three low-wage jobs at companies that don't offer health insurance because they weren't born into privilege and couldn't afford college or running for Congress is: Sorry you poor suckers...no healthcare for you. Meanwhile, taxpayers foot the bill for Zach Wamp and his family's very comprehensive government provided health care.

Never mind the fact that if we had universal healthcare we could save billions in administrative costs alone, not to mention the ability to negotiate drug prices like they do in those scary socialist nations in Europe who pay one fifth what we pay for prescription drugs.

So Zach "The Pizza Delivery Man With An Extra Large Pepperoni" Wamp wants to maintain the status quo where the poor can't afford healthcare so they are forced to use the Emergency room, which is subsized by the dwindling tax dollars the middle-class pays who are currently struggling with high co-pays and premiums..all the while the rich/government officials enjoy their birthright of free/affordable healthcare. Well, at least we now know where another Rush Republican stands.

The title of this post is one of my favorite quotes (by the inimitable Maya Angelou), it's simple and honest and true. Here we are in the most difficult time this country has faced in 60 years and we see a group of people acting selfish beyond belief, not willing to spend money on the people, their constituents..only the corporations and/or banks they view as patrons that keep them in power. They'll let families in their districts go hungry and lose their homes. They'll let their constituents who can't afford the exhorbitant cost of health insurance struggle with ill health or die because they don't have the money, rather than do the smart moral and honorable thing by reforming our system to make it fair, cost effective and universal.

When people show you who they are, like: Michelle Bachmann, Rush Limbaugh, Zach Wamp, Larry Kudlow, Rick Santelli, Mike Pence, Eric Cantor, Tom Delay, and so on...believe them. Who they are is a group of people who couldn't give a shit who you are. I think it's time we returned the sentiment and fought for what's right. Healthcare for everyone...now.

Out With The New, In With The Old

2009-02-18T17:37:00.001-08:00

Welcome back to the blog Cleveland DL'ers!

Turns out, I just could never get used to the official DL blog site. No creative freedom, no linking ability, no blogroll, had to finish it all in one sitting within a certain time period or it would time-out on me...etc. So, I'm dusting this old baby off and taking her for another spin.

But this post's title has nothing to do with me bringing back our very own blog where ya'll can send me posts you want everyone to see, sites you want to link to and messages or anything.

No. This title relates to the Re-Gingerichization of The Republican Party. What these obtuse nostalgia-addicted yahoos have taken from their devastating electoral losses over the last two years is that they need to Newter themselves to remain politically viable. Well, at least they aren't digging up Reagan for the umpteenth time but still, this recent strategy is just as familiar and amusing.

The GOP believes what the American people want right now; while millions are out of work, under-employed, taking pay cuts, losing their homes, losing their health insurance, losing the value of their homes, telling their kids they can't pay for college, cutting back on any and every small luxury and/or necessity in life....is for their only lifeline...the government, to completely stop working for them. No Money for Jobs! More tax cuts for Madoff! Cut Social Spending! Yeah, that's the ticket!

The same Republicans who voted to give the banks 350 billion when Bush was in office a few months ago, now say giving money to programs that will employ 4 million Americans who will pay taxes back into the system and buy more goods with their income is 'wasteful spending'.

Their groundbreaking new RNC chair Michael Steele (R-NoBama) actually tried to make the case on national TV that work and jobs aren't the same thing. That's like trying to argue a flower is not a plant. Oh. My. God. So. Freaking. Stupid.

The King of Revisionist Hypocrisy, Mr. February in this month's issue of Newt Gingerich Wannabee Magazine, is Virginia House Rep Eric Can'tor (R-Conflictofinterestville). My favorite thing about this latest Republican paper-hero isn't that he shoots wolves from a helicopter, has an unmarried teenage mother for a daughter or is under investigation (yet) for abuse of power.

What I love about this young buck ready to carry the Newtian mantle is the the fact his wife was a managing director at a bank that received hundred of millions from the TARP money he railed against yet voted for. I'm sure he had no idea his wife's bank would get some of that icky bailout money...how rude of us to imply such a thing.

After 8 years of the worst president in history, a semi-former Republican Idol, sending the deficit into the stratosphere and spending our money like a shit-faced college student at Hooters with a no limit credit card...now Republicans care about the money future generations are going to shoulder? Eric Can'tor now cares about what the future holds for non-zygotian Americans who made it through the birth canal?

Well, I'd thank him for his concern if it wasn't so laughable. But the fact remains that it is incredibly laughable. So... sorry Eric The Lame....the GOP is NOT 'Back in The Saddle' but instead continue to prove who they really are...American Idiots.

Finally to tie this all whole post and theme of bringing back 'the old' together is a word to our president. A currently good and potentially great man who has brought a lot of the 'old' back into the White House for admirable yet misdirected reasons. Damn that Doris Kearns Goodwin to hell.

Dear President Obama,

Your admiration for Lincoln is understood. But, eventually even he ditched bipartisanship and did what is right for the nation, even when it meant going to war with states in the union.

He was a man that despised slavery but was more concerned with pragmatism and holding the union together than abolishing slavery. He believed back in 1858 that ending slavery in 100 years was a realistic goal. Frederick Douglass showed him and everyone else 100 years was too long and that what is right, just and the best for the nation cannot wait for those unwilling to face change. Could you imagine if the United States waited until 1958 to abolish the enslavement of African Americans? Just 50 years ago? Well, my guess is that you would not be president right now.

Real change is not a slow evolving process. It requires a catalyst to set it into motion. It does not require all parties at the table...just one or a few brave individuals to take the leap and bring others along. You've done that. You've got a mass of people ready to take that leap with you. We can't bring the GOP along when their leaders reach back for the likes of Newt Gingerich instead of Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt and Dwight Eisenhower.

We voted for change. They don't want change. It's done.

While I won't hold my breath for a response from the Obama folks, this does mean one thing, after a few weeks off from meeting and too many off from real blogging....Cleveland DL is back in the saddle again. See YOU at the next meeting kids.

Change We Can't Believe In - RIP 4th Amendment

2008-06-26T16:12:00.000-07:00

Today we learned that only 15 Senators give a damn about the Bill of Rights. I guess us Cleveland Liberal Drinkers can take some comfort our Senator, Sherrod Brown, voted with the good guys. But that's very small comfort when the candidate many liberals championed to become the Democratic POTUS nominee, Barack Obama, has taken a stance that Ben Franklin would scoff at and decided that trading liberty for security is just fine. Call me crazy but I don't see how his stance on this issue is one iota of 'change' from the current administration's.

Of course Senate Majority Leader Harry 'Microscopic Balls' Reid promises the Dems will try really really hard to strip immunity for the Telecoms out of the bill so the Bush Administration and Telecoms who violated the Constitution can be held accountable....but he's not promising anything because he knows they'll pass the bill with immunity included. Harry's afraid he might get another atomic-wedgie from Trent Lott if they don't.

Gee, I wonder why the Dems are so willing to cave? Could the reason be that 94 Democrats have taken an average of about $8,000 each in campaign donations from the Telecoms since 2005 and they want to continue suckling the generous bosom of Ole Ma Bell and her cousins? That's a big fat DUH! And the fattest pig at the teet is Hundred Millionaire Jay Rockefeller (D-Calling Him A Whore Would Be An Insult To Whores) who has been rewarded with $50,000 in campaign donations from Verizon and AT&T employees for his successful efforts to protect their interests over his constituents.

Does anyone in their right mind really think the government wants to enlist the Telecoms in blanket surveillance and collection of personal information on the American people just to keep us all safe from all of the terrorists our government creates by invading countries with oil? That their intention with this new FISA law is purely innocent and has our best interests in mind? If you believe that, then you haven't been paying attention to what's happening in that bastion of Free Market Capitalism, China. It appears that the free market and democracy don't necessarily go hand in hand.

We've already seen that our government can control elections with information it collects on it's citizens from private companies as it did so successfully in both 2000 and 2004. I know what most of you are thinking..but, but...that was Bush! The Democrats would never ever do such a thing. Yeah, right. It's a political party folks, they want to gain power. Let's not be so naive.

Two weeks ago Obama was Mr. Progressive but this week is open to letting the T-coms off for illegally spying on you, reverses himself on NAFTA, and agrees with Scalia on both guns and the death penalty. WTF? In his defense; Hillary Clinton is no stranger to lobbyist money, helped promote NAFTA and pandered to the hardworking white male gun-owners in Pennsyltucky with tales of skeet shooting at her childhood cottage. I'm thinking she'd be no different.

Obviously most of us would never vote for McCain or any Republican for that matter, but that doesn't mean we cannot pressure the Democrats now to do what is right. Big Business, The Mediacracy, The Military Industrial Complex and the GOP all pressure the Democrats to do fall in line. If the Democratic Party is only getting pressure from the top and they aren't hearing from us at the bottom, then it's quite predictable who's voice they're going to heed.

Just hoping that once Obama is in the White House and the Dems have a larger majority in Congress everything will be OK is not realistic. I was drawn to Obama because his message asked the people to get involved in the change we all want for this country. Well, maybe it's time the people start communicating to the Obama campaign what we hope for and what change we believe in, instead of the other way around.

Obama is not taking PAC or 527 money and I just received an e-mail from Howard Dean saying the DNC is following suit. I don't know if they'll keep this policy up in the future but for now kids this is our opportunity to exert populist political pressure. Contact the Obama campaign and Dr. Dean at the DNC about the FISA cave or any other issue they are falling down on, tell them you're pissed off and you won't give any more of your 'change' until they do what's right.

White + Male = Hardworking

2008-05-08T17:31:00.000-07:00

I tell ya kids, I'm beginning to resent being called an elitist-latte-drinking-Volvo-driving-liberal-egghead by wealthy campaign surrogates/pundits in the Democratic party. Hearing that kind of right-wing framing of those of us left of center, by Democrats no less, is really beginning to piss me off. Especially considering that as a college educated person; my middle-class household has only one car that costs less than what Paul Begala makes in a month. And no, it's not a used Volvo. I wonder what that little troglodyte drives, hmmm? A used Ford Focus? My ass he does. Dollars to donuts Begala drives a recent year Beemer to fit his college education, fancy Beltway abode and above the five percentile income range.

And can someone please tell me what is with this meme being offered by Hillary's campaign that only white voters, especially the male ones, are hard-working? How can these supposedly smart people be so goddamned stupid? They have no real idea what America is really like and yet they have the nerve to say her opponent is out of touch.

The middle-class is not the only hard-working segment of this society. We have millions of people of all races classified as 'the working poor' stuck in low-wage jobs yet living at the poverty line. Most college educated people are members of the middle-class, not all of them are white, not all of them are men, and they all bust their asses working long hours 24/7/365. It's as if her campaign and it's surrogates are trapped in one 30 year long episode of 'All In The Family'.

To be fair, it isn't just the Clinton camp pigeonholing all of America. Every night some fool punditute from the Mediacracy plugs us into some role in the Bunker household. Edith and Gloria naturally support Hillary because she's a woman, Archie won't vote for a black guy, and Meathead is the lone Obama supporter because he's a lazy liberal unemployed college graduate.

If that dated sit-com allegory the politicians and pundits take as gospel were true: Hillary would have won soundly in overwhelmingly white states early in the primary. She'd have been running her campaign against her friend John McCain for three months now and Obama would be back in the Senate with his tail between his legs. But that's not how it's all worked out is it?

Aren't Democrats are supposed to be the party that believes all Americans regardless of race, gender, class or sexual orientation are equal and valuable? The party that is supposed to respect and encourage education instead of mocking it? The proudly liberal party that doesn't use the word liberal as an insult like right wing thugs?

Hillary's problem maintaining her 'inevitability' this election season didn't stem from chauvinists' leery of her gender or even a deep-seated Clinton animus; it was that she campaigned like a Republican in a Democratic race and that she listened to the idiots around her that told her only The Bunkers matter.

We Have Met The Enemy And He/She Is Us

2008-03-06T16:44:00.001-08:00

Well kids. I'm glad our primary election is over but I'm beginning to come down with a wicked case of Buyer's Remorse. Weeks ago I thought I had finally realized some grand wish to have my vote counted. And it was. And that's great. And I have no doubt it was a fair election. And yes, I still think a national primary should be held on one day across the nation so we can all have our say at one time. Do it all in March or April. Make it a National Holiday for pity's sake.

How freaking hard can that be to do? Congress names post offices, streets, and days for all sorts of people and reasons all of the time. Need to name something after the guy who put the first water pump in some obscure town in America back in 1882? No problem! Congress will spring to action. If Congress has the time to spend acknowledging Christianity's contribution to our Secular nation; it can manage to give us all one freaking day to pick our presidential candidates.

But. This race for the Democratic nomination has gotten really ugly. Please spare me the lecture. I know the Republicans will lie, cheat, smear, steal, mug grandmas, kick puppies, double-dip the salsa, rip the tags off mattresses, and sell their souls to Satan to win in November. They've done it before. I get it. I just do not like watching Democrats act like Republicans.

The Punditutes would have us believe that such politicking is to be respected, it shows that the candidate is a 'fighter'. I just don't buy it. Since when is lying, fomenting bigotry, fear mongering and openly mocking voters respectable? Here are some examples of good old 'Merkan politicking that get the cocktail weenies of Mediacratic Mooks standing at attention:

Fabulous Fake News Reports smearing opponents. Gee, I seem to remember another politician really partial to the old fake news report. Who could that be?
Oh yeah and that Fake News Report was a big Swift-Boatian LIE?
Campaign surrogates feeding bigorty and paranoia.
"He's not a Muslim as Far as I Know" Are you effing kidding me?
Mocking voters who support your opponent.
After 8 years of Darth Cheney and his Mini-Dub telling folks if they don't vote for them, scary dark non-Christians will blow up the Walmart in Bumblefuckville; we are treated to the Democratic version of Vote For Me Or Die.

By the way, I looked for similar examples for the other Democratic Candidate in this race. The worst factual example I found was a dispute over the word "boon". And while lots of folks may want that candidate to fight the slime with more slime to win the nomination. I do not. Since when is fighting lies and garbage with more lies and garbage the admirable or practical thing to do? So, what happens if the person who slings the most garbage wins the Nom?

More lies and garbage for 3 months until they win or lose in November. If they lose then it will be "The Democrats turned moderates and independents off with their nasty campaigning". If they win? Well then we'll have another President who was willing to lie, cheat, smear, steal, mug grandmas, kick puppies, double-dip the salsa, rip the tags off of mattresses and sell their soul to Satan to be President.

In other words, nothing will change.

Super Suckers

2008-02-12T16:37:00.000-08:00

Several posts ago I lamented the fact that the states (like Ohio) at the end of the presidential primary schedule never have any impact on the choice of the nominee. But as events have unfolded over the last five weeks, we learned that Inevitability only exists in the absence of Hope and it would appear that lots of voters have Hope. Hot damn! Ohio may actually be a player in this primary election.

It took some time for it to sink in that for the first time in my life, my primary vote could actually make a difference. Then last week, while making dinner with Mr. Drinking Liberally, I blurted out: "OH MY GOD MY VOTE IS ACTUALLY GOING TO COUNT!" Mr. DL nearly lost a digit chopping onions and the dogs erupted in howls that begged "What the living hell is wrong with you Bi-Peds now?" But I didn't care. I was overcome with joy. Downright giddy. I almost felt like a virgin again!!!! Okay, okay...that's a bit of a stretch, but come on..you all didn't have to laugh so hard at the thought - man you people are cold.

Anyway, today my elevated sense of self-esteem at the thought of my own electoral might came crashing to earth. It seems there are these creatures called 'Super Delegates' and they have the power to crush an electoral majority with their extra special powers - aka being a party insider, political official, or elected representative. You see Super Delegates votes are equal to that of 10,000 of us little paeans and they don't have to restrict their powers by voting with the majority of delegates from their respective states. That's right kiddies, they can vote for whoever they want whether it reflects the majority of the state they represent or not. Huh.

Say Candidate A wins the majority of the 'little people' delegates from all of the states; if enough Super Delegates decide to vote against their state delegates wishes, they could give the nomination to Candidate B. Sooooo, how do these Extra Special Super Duper Better Than You And Me Voters decide what to do? Well, folks the word on the street is that there's a lot of wheeling, dealing, ass-kissing, and promise-making going on between the Candidates and The ESSDBTYAMV's. Would they like to be ambassador to France? Well, that can be arranged toute suite! Need to get your kid a cushy government job because the economy sucks wad in Ohio? Well, make sure you get them your eye's apple a resume asap! Need some help for your campaign in 2010? How would you like a sitting President at your fundraiser? Hmmmm?

For a glimpse in the life of a Super Delegate: meet Jason Rae, a 21 year old college junior and Democratic Party member who has never voted before, yet his cell phone perpetually rings with calls from candidates and their surrogates looking to woo him for his Super Vote. One day, he flipped open his cell phone and on the other line was Bill. Would Jason like to meet Chelsea? What 21 year old male political nerd wouldn't want to meet the gorgeous 28 year old daughter of a former president? Poor Obama, his daughters are much too young and his wife, while a gorgeous kick ass woman, is much older than 28 and currently betrothed. I doubt Jason would be all that stoked to eat breakfast with them. Maybe Obama should arrange a hunting date with Jason and his distant cousin Dick. FYI Jason, when Dick yells 'duck' remember that he's hunting quail.

I don't know about you guys, but to me this whole Super Delegate scheme reeks. It's sooo Banana Republic and I don't mean the upscale Gap clothing brand, I mean the type of government where the party elitists pick your leaders. Millions of voters can make the decision to nominate one candidate then 842 'special' people can overturn it because they got to make googly eyes with a former president's offspring or pocket the mother of all political favors. I hate to use the word 'pimping' when describing the practice of trading your vote for your own personal political gain because that word has pissed off so many people but also because the word 'whoring' is actually the more appropriate term to describe it.

Suddenly my virginal excitment over my vote counting for the very first time in the presidential primary (let alone in a presidential election) has been replaced by that 'not so fresh feeling' of realizing that as an Ohioan, once again my vote may really not count. I never imagined in my wildest dreams that this time around those responsible could be from my own party.

Rose Colored Glasses Are Sooooo 'Yesterday'

2008-01-10T16:04:00.000-08:00

Let me begin by prefacing that George Bush is the single worst president we've had in history. And the GOP controlled Congress sucked waaaayyyy more than the Congress we have now, one that is only by a slim margin, controlled by Democrats. And it goes without saying that every single one of the GOP POTUS candidates have potential to steal Dubya McCodpiece's 'Worst President Ever' mantle. But of course, we Americans should have much higher standards shouldn't we? After all we have The Constitution. But, alas, we Americans also have the world's worst collective case of ADD in recorded history.

I just want everyone out there to take a sober look back to the Clinton era without their rose-colored glasses. The best way to do that is to read this piece from Alternet by David Morris. Here's the link: http://www.alternet.org/story/72336/. I know you don't want to read it kids, but please do not ignore it. It's not slime, it's not about Monica, it's the facts.

Bill Clinton's Administration did not operate as a Democratic administration and they were not in the least bit progressive. For instance, 'Don't Ask Don't Tell' was hardly the mark of anyone you could call progressive. It was gutless, ridiculously condescending to the gay men and women in uniform and in the long run hurt them more. If they were asked under orders they had to tell and then well, they were out of the military. The policy sanctioned discrimination, the only thing that can keep a gay American from being discharged from the military is if their superior decides not to ask them if they are gay. Could any of you out there imagine that your employment rode on the question of who you love? Could you imagine going to work everyday fearing your boss would ask that question? I know as a straight person I could not and when I put myself into their shoes it's beyond maddening to imagine it happening to me.

The Clinton Administration had as much contempt for the New Deal and Great Society as any Republican. Legislation that the first Bush or Reagan could have only dreamed of passing became reality under Clinton: NAFTA, The T-Com Act of '96, deregulation run amok, the rise of Enron, and Welfare Reform that recreated the 19th century class of the perpetually poor.

I have always been fond of saying (just ask Mr. Drinking Liberally for verification) that 'Bill Clinton was the best Republican President we ever had'. And I'll be damned if I do not get horrified gasps from Democrats, 'How dare you!...We...we...had a surplus! He was the first black president!' Sigh....what I wouldn't do for a drug from Merck that would jog their memories of that time. JUST KIDDING YA'LL! Merck is evil, to be honest so is every pharma company..if they weren't I wouldn't have to spend ten minutes a day deleting drug spam from my inbox.!

Anyway, when an administration enacts crappy policy it can take years to affect the population. Normally we have that yin/yang thing going and the succeeding administration pulls the country back. But no. In 2000, we got Dubya McCheney'sbitch who took the crappy policy-ball all the way into the endzone and then some.

So let's look at what we are dealing with a decade after the Clintonian promises that technology would solve all of our manufacturing loss woes, that deregulation serves the consumer not the CEO and Friedmanesque trade deals lift the third world out of poverty while guaranteeing the greedy American consumer low, low prices: under-employment, a stock-market that's all over the place, global sweatshop labor, rich getting richer, poor getting poorer, the middle-class tanking, unregulated industries soaking consumers with no accountability, Mexicans leaving their families to find work up north, foreclosures, unions battling for their lives as well as workers rights, corporate influence in every piece of legislation enacted, a pathetically biased media, etc...etc. Dubya in his wildest dreams could not have created this, he had help. He had Bill.

There was a time when I too wore the rose-colored glasses when looking back at the 90s when Clinton was president. Especially back in 2003 when Bush decided that America was entitled to attack any nation that just gave him the heebie-jeebies and Congress agreed. But over the course of the last four years I've really educated myself on our history, the state of our nation and what liberalism and progressivism means. And I found those rose-colored glasses no longer fit my need to see the truth.

My question to all of you Liberal Drinkers is...do you really want real change in this nation? Do you really want to trade rose-colored glasses for a stronger prescription that is difficult to deal with at first but you'll get used to, be glad you tried and will realize the future will be brighter as a result. That you do not want this change only for yourself but for your kids, your nieces, nephews, grandkids, your friends and their loved ones...for those who we leave behind here after we're gone. If so, you'll ask all of the POTUS candidates to rebuke the collude and compromise strategy of the DLC Democrats who fear liberals and progressives. You'll stand up for liberalism and progressivism. And you'll realize that if we want the future to be bright, we gotta lose the shades.

The Audacity of Hope vs Hope Arkansas

2008-01-03T18:44:00.000-08:00

Ahh...the Iowa Caucuses are over. Or should it be Caucusii? I'm not sure. A state with a minority population of 2.5% picked Barack 'Whoooossein' Obama over a Clinton? The Inevitable One lost to the Newbie with the "Un-Merkan" name. I'd wonder why but actually I'm not surprised at all. I can think of a few reasons and they all have to do with...we are tired of Bushes and Clintons. We want change.

Hillary made a big mistake by telling the world she played an instrumental role in her husband's administration. We've had time to reminisce since Bubba was King. While I do remember my 401K kicking ass back then, I also remember enduring 'down-sizing' and the hundreds of thousands of jobs leaving Ohio due to NAFTA. 'The Giant Sucking Sound' Perot predicted back in 1992 that would come from South of the border, moved East - finding countries willing to sell it's people into slavery for even lower wages than Mexico and willing to shower their executives even greater bonuses for wickedly huge profits. The outsourcing of all jobs be they blue collar or white, to India and China have devastated soooo many state economies it's ridiculous.

I also remember the Telecommunication's Act of 1996 that relaxed media ownership rules. Gee, that's served the public well hasn't it? Oh it hasn't? Huh. Hillary, a bit of advice...tell the nation you'd be better than your husband, tell us you would not not make the mistakes he made, and please.. don't tell us you had a hand in them. And whatever you do; do not tell us that receiving millions in campaign donations from big business lobbyists is equal to getting money from unions and public interest organizations. It's not. The ACLU and Cigna have different priorities and we are not stupid. Here endeth the lesson Hillary. You need to be, in your heart, a real populist in some way shape or form. Good luck with that.

Anyway....Obama won even though the Mediacracy said he wouldn't. The guy who the whisper campaigners did their best to play up as a 'scary terrorist' kicked ass tonight and I'll be damned if that doesn't make me happy! Whoooooo! I am truly excited about this even if he is not my personal pick. I'm hoping Mr. Audacity of Hope will take a cue from the populist candidate that nearly took him out and pay heed. Because America really wants change, they don't want someone who just talks about it.

Of course, there's the other one from Hope, Arkansas who won his race tonight. Mr. Mike 'Fox Hates Me' Huckabee...another Cinderella story of a more twisted variety...who spent gobs less yet creamed The Romney-Bot in the Iowa Caucus. Meaning - the Republicans are on their way to putting up just about the worst candidate ever. An even wackier Dubya without the money or family connections. A guy who has publicly stated: Women Must Submit To Their Husbands and Gay People Are Equatable To Necrophiliacs. Yeaaaahh, that'll play real well in the O.C. or anywhere else with running water.

Of course Mr. Old-Timey Values Guy...Huckabee aka The Huckster, has some pretty ugly baggage. He got his pre-serial-killer offspring off for hanging a dog from a tree for shits and giggles. And who could forget the rest of Mr. Aw-Shuck's plethora of corruption in office as Govengoober? It would seem that Mr. 'Aw-Shucks' is not exactly Mr. Clean.

Oh...man do ever I hope against hope that the Republicans keep Huckabee on top. I'd run my dog against him for president. Of course when Karly the Poop-Eating English Cocker beat Huckabee in a landslide, I'd have to step in at some point. I'd totally agree to be her Chief of Staff. It should be quite easy to spin a government official who licks herself, eats kibble, plays with inert objects, greets folks as if they are a a rock-star every time anyone she knows walks into a room, and craps wherever she feels as a being with the appropriate skills to be President compared to any GOP candidate. The improvement in diplomacy alone would be worth electing Karly The Poop Eating Dog for President. After all, we've accepted soooo much less of our President in every regard over the last seven years.

Sorry I digressed quite a bit there. But, if the election was to be held today and we'd have to choose between Obama and Huckabee? I would predict a landslide for Obama...especially since the kick-ass Ohio Secretary of State Jennifer Brunner has decided to bring voting integrity back for our state. Biiiiiiiiggg kudos to Ms. Brunner!!!! I will vote this year and it will be counted..Ms. Brunner you have no idea to how many who feel that's music to their ears. Please support Ms. Brunner folks cuz you know the PD et al will not.

Of course, we've got at least two more states that need to vote before the Mediacracy decides who we are supposed to vote for. And us Ohioans don't get to weigh in till well after that...March 4th. Not fair. Ohio is a state that has been labeled as 'bell-weather' in many an election, our population diversity comes closest to resembling the nation as a whole yet our primary is practically the last to weigh in. Yet, this October we'll be bombarded with entreaties of candidates we really had no part in choosing. Heavy, heavy sigh. The primary system is anything but democratic. Maybe someday, us liberals will decide to make it so. But in the mean time kids, it's that season. And our country is calling on us to bring it back from the disaster it's fallen into.

Hope is not just a subjective noun that some guy claims audacity over or a pronoun that labels a city in the Midwest...it's a verb that embodies what the American people need. See you this Sunday where we'll all exhibit the meaning of hope and the spirit of Democracy when we meet to lift a pint to both.

Liberally yours,

Judy

North East Ohio Progressive Liberal Calendar 12/14 - 12/20

2007-12-13T16:14:00.000-08:00

Friday Dec.14- 6-9pm:

Bring The Movement Home: Gather To Close the S.O.A. Film Showing "On The Line" A bold look at U.S. foreign policy in Latin America and the movement to shut down the S.O.A.St.Augustine's Church, 2486, W. 14th Street, Tremont. Share poetry Movement music, support prisoners of conscience.for more info contact I.R.T.F.216 961-0003

Sunday, December 16, 2007 : 1 - 5 P.M.

Please join NOAC on December 16, 2007 to create the name/civilian banner that will serve as the backdrop for the light display at the Commemoration of the 4,000th US Military Death of the Iraq war. We have written the names by hand on individual sheets of white, 8 1/2" X 11" paper that are bordered with the silhouettes of 250 peace doves to represent the Iraqi Civilian deaths. At this workshop, we will place each sheet in a plastic protector and string them together to make a continuous line of names. The workshop will be held at C-Space, 4323 Clark Avenue, Cleveland 44109, on Sunday, December 16, 2007 - 1:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. All supplies to create this project will be provided by NOAC. Donations are welcome, and we need as many hands as possible to create this 4,000-foot banner. PLEASE JOIN US!
For more information email NOAC at http://noacinfo.org/noacinfo@aol.com or call 216-736-4716.
For more information on C-Space, see their website at http://www.clevelandspace.org/ or call 216-631-2233.

***Cleveland Peace Action is collecting strands of small, white/clear lights to be used at the commemoration. Please see the Cleveland Peace Action website http://www.peaceactioncleveland.org/ for information on donating light strands.

Monday December 17th 9:00-10:30am:

An event sponsored by Senator Voinovich on Medicare and Social Security. This will be a rare opportunity to speak to him about his votes on Medicare. We urge you to bring a carload of seniors from your building or center. We want help build a good audience. Senator Voinovich is hosting a low-income subsidy event on Monday, December 17th and would like you to attend. At MetroHealth Senior Health and Wellness Center (Formerly Deaconess Hospital), 4229 Pearl Road (near Memphis and Broadview).

Contact: Bob Erzen, Speakers' Bureau Coordinator216.269.2668http://us.f320.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=rferzen@gmail.com -- Bob Erzen, Speakers' Bureau Coordinator216.269.2668https://webmail.roadrunner.com/webedge/do/mail/message/mailto?to=rferzen%40gmail.com

December, 18-Tuesday 5pm:

Please join us for a demonstration on International Migrant Workers Day at the Burger King at 2828 Carnegie Road. Burger King has refused to accommodate the major breakthrough won by the Coalition of Immokalee Workers when McDonald's and Taco Bell agreed to increase the rate of pay for migrant tomato pickers by one penny per pound. This pay rate increased the amount of money a picker received from 45 cents per 32 lbs. to 77 cents. Quite frankly, small change to an enterprise the size of Burger King, but a substantial amount of money to a migrant worker. Because of the Burger King stance, the Florida Tomato Growers Exchange is now refusing to honor the agreement as well. For further information please check out these links:http://www.truthout.org/issues_06/112907LA.shtml http://www.ciw-online.org/

Thursday December 20th, 7:00 to 9:30pm:

Watch "A Crude Awakening: The Oil Crash" - Bela Dubby Cafe 13321 Madison Avenue Lakewood -7:00-9:30pWHEN: Thurs., Dec. 20, 7:00-9:30pm at the Lakewood Dem Club movie night. RSVP: (216) 221-4479 or tom@tombullockforlakewood.com.

About the movie: Oil Crash, produced and directed by award-winning European journalists and filmmakers Basil Gelpke and Ray McCormack, tells the story of how our civilization's addiction to oil puts it on a collision course with geology. Compelling, intelligent, and highly entertaining, the film visits with the world's top experts and comes to a startling, but logical conclusion our industrial society, built on cheap and readily available oil, must be completely re-imagined and overhauled.http://www.oilcrashmovie.com/film.html

NOAC Progressive Film Series
at Talkies Coffee and Film Bar
2521 Market Avenue, Cleveland
January 5, 12, 19, & 26, 2008
1:00 p.m.

Come in from the cold and join NOAC for 4 newly-released, progressive films. NOAC will facilitate a discussion after each film. Keep checking back here for a complete schedule and more information on the specific films that will be shown.
Showing Saturday, January 5, 2007: NO END IN SIGHT

A chronological look at the fiasco in Iraq, especially decisions made in the spring of 2003 - and the backgrounds of those making decisions - immediately following the overthrow of Saddam: no occupation plan, an inadequate team to run the country, insufficient troops to keep order, and three edicts from the White House announced by Bremmer when he took over: no provisional Iraqi government, de-Ba'athification, and disbanding the Iraqi armed services. The film has chapters (from History to Consequences), and the talking heads are reporters, academics, soldiers, military brass, and former Bush-administration officials, including several who were in Baghdad in 2003.

I See Un-American People

2007-12-06T16:30:00.000-08:00

Last week the U.S. House of Representatives passed a bill, almost unanimously, called "HR-1955 The Violent Radicalization and Home Grown Terrorism Protection Act". This bill that made it through the House of Crazy Nutbags, of course has language in it that flies in the face of civil liberties. The bill's language begins with the words "An Act to prevent homegrown terrorism, and for other purposes" without of course, ever defining those 'other purposes'. What other purposes besides 'homegrown terrorism' might it mean?

Why might I ask all of my Liberal Drinking buddies to be worried about this bill? I imagine it might be that the definition of who they seek to study has not exactly been set in stone. I've read many analyses of this bill but the one I found here is probably the most comprehensive and intelligent.

Since Dick Cheney has gotten his sweaty mitts on our government, the FBI has found the Quakers, PETA, and Green Peace worthy of monitoring. What other groups might our government view as a threat to it's power? The ACLU, Move On, The AFL-CIO, Veterans For Peace, Drinking Liberally? This bill creates a (cough...1984..cough) 'Commission of Excellence' to study all of the pissed-off Americans in the land. Then after 18 months, when the 'C to the O to the E' is done examining us all, the bill says it will rely on the Private Sector to do something about it! Yea! Maybe that macho mammoth murderous mercenary 'corporation' Blackwater will get that No Bid Contract!

Being a concerned citizen who is head over heels with The Constitution; I wrote my Democratic Senator, Sherrod Brown, who assured me he'd 'take my concerns into consideration' when the bill hits the Senate. Of course, his letter did not inform me which way he would vote. Even more disturbing, I believe he said the same thing when I wrote him about the Military Commissions Act bill that ended Habeas Corpus. For those of you who don't remember; before he won his Senate seat, as a House Rep. he voted for that bill. And you know what else was missing from his reply to my concerns about the Senate version of HR-1955? His guarantee that my civil liberties would not be degraded. Makes you think doesn't it?

Now many of you may wonder who on the Democratic side sponsored the bill that will finally counter-sink the screw in the coffin that contains our civil liberties? Why that would be Blue-Dog Democrat Jane Harman. Just so happens that her district is rife with lots of defense industry companies looking for work outside of the nasty Middle-East. Those poor, poor Defense Industry companies are sooooo worried what will happen if they have to leave the arid lands of the Middle-East. So Jane says 'No to worry my Sugar Daddies! I'll find a way for you to work and keep the sand out of your cracks! We'll let ya do what you did over there...over here!'

Soooo... the Democrats, led by Jane 'Blackwater' Harman, voted in concert to create a millenial version of the mid-twentieth century McCarthy era House Un-American Activities Committee. Are you getting the picture here kids? That maybe Democrats aren't any more in love with free speech, the right to assemble, the right to question the government than Republicans?

One of my favorite movies, which I 'm sure I'll be harangued about, is Francis Ford Coppola's The Untouchables. My favorite character in the movie of course is the ethically conflicted Irish old salt mentor to Eliot Ness played by Sean Connery. He asked Eliot both before and during his death, 'What are you prepared to do?' And, whenever I'm faced with something really difficult I ask myself that question. And now I ask it of you.

What are you prepared to do to keep your right to peacefully protest, to join groups you agree with, to express your thoughts publicly without legal retribution? What are you prepared to do to ensure this right, codified in our Constitution, for future generations? What are you prepared to prevent thought from becoming a crime?

I hope, at the very least, you are willing to write your Senators, demanding that they as your elected representatives vote against the Senate version of this bill...if not? Just imagine Drinking Liberally becoming "Drinking What The Government Tells Us To Say or We'll Be Thrown In Gitmo-ingly". That would really suck.

Sweet Jesus I Hate Dianne Feinstein

2007-11-10T07:29:00.000-08:00

I know, liberals aren't supposed to hate. But, even if it gives Bill O'Falafelly ammunition against us when addressing his audience of ornery octogenarians, everyone of you out there that calls yourself a liberal has hated someone in your lifetime.

Our saving grace is that the object of our derision is most likely a jerk-off in office that makes it hard for the average person to live a decent life and the fact we handle our hate differently. We don't oppress populations based on color, religion, or sexual orientation like Republicans. We don't advocate bombing the crap out of countries full of innocent civilians just as disgusted with their government as we are with ours, to feed pathetic oedipal personal demons.

Liberals argue, debate, form coalitions and advocate themselves out of their anger. We actually try to solve problems through the system...whether the Cons believe that or not. Liberals respect the Constitution and the laws of our land a hell of a lot more than any conservative.

So I am asking the liberals living in California to send Dianne Feinstein packing. To knock her off her lucrative powerful catbird seat. Feinstein represents everything that is wrong with the Democratic Party. She is corrupt. She is a Republican tool. And regardless of the tired line of bullshit flung by any Senator or Representative voting against their party, she is not representing her district.

And please....look at the woman, does she even look like a Democrat to you? The old saying about putting a lump of coal up her ass and getting a diamond in two weeks pretty much sums it up. She looks like Margaret Thatcher's younger sister fer chrissakes! But I digress. Let's take this out of the shallow end of the pool and into the deep end. Let's look at Feinstein's work.

Dianne Feinstein on the Judiciary Committee: Her committee vote to allow anti-gay, anti-worker's rights, anti-civil right's judicial nominee Leslie Southwick to head to the floor gave the nation yet another SOB watching out for 'the straight man' from the bench.

http://www.californiaprogressreport.com/2007/10/feinstein_asked.html

Dianne Feinstein on Telecom Immunity: http://www.salon.com/opinion/greenwald/?last_story=/opinion/greenwald/2007/11/10/feinstein/.

Dianne Feinstein on Mukasey: http://www.americablog.com/2007/11/democratic-senators-schumer-and.html

Dianne Feinstein on FISA: http://thehill.com/leading-the-news/leahy-intel-panel-about-to-cave-to-white-house-on-surveillance-2007-10-18.html

Dianne Feinstein on The Patriot Act:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2005/06/10/MNGB7D6JMJ1.DTL

Dianne Feinstein on Continuing The Iraq Occupation:

http://guymurray.wordpress.com/2007/05/25/californias-congressional-votes-on-iraq-war-funding/

Aw, hell, how about a catch-all link to Dianne Feinstein's overall voting record as a Democrat:

http://projects.washingtonpost.com/congress/members/f000062/votes/against-party/

Read the last one if you read any of these links kids, then tell me this woman is a Democrat. I think George Voinovich might even have a better Democrat voting record than she. I was blown away by how many of her votes tacked with the Republican side....alternative energy, civil rights, government accountability etc..etc. Judging by her votes, one cannot even call her a Moderate Democrat, a more appropriate label would be Right Wing Democrat.

And if all the evidence I've presented is not enough to convince California Democrats into doing something about Dianne....Trent Lott, the man who lamented that racist douche-bag Strom Thurmond never became president, gets all choked up and tingly in the loins when talking about his Diry Di. Trent 'I Don't Wanna Share My Drinking Fountain' Lott loves Di to death. And California keeps voting his object of affection to office. WTF?

Cali Dems, I'm Clevelander enough to admit that the West Coast is one of the major trend-setters for the nation though I'm sure that's entirely due to former Clevelanders moving to your lovely state. But come on...if you want us lowly middle-country folk to vote for progressive candidates you gotta set an example for us and give the boot to your representatives that are not. We have Kucinich and you have Feinstein?....I personally think you should be pissed about that. And we both should be pissed we don't have a Bernie Sanders. Ah, to be a Vermonter...sigh.

One final note, just so folks don't think I'm some self-loathing female jealous of strong women like White House Spokes-liar Dana 'Ewwww...Like..You Know...The Little People Gross Me Out!' Perrino, in the coming weeks stay tuned for my post 'Sweet Jesus I Hate Rahm Emmanuel' because Saaawheeweet Jaysus I really do!

I Know You Are But What Am I?

2007-10-17T17:26:00.000-07:00

Yeah...the title of this post is quite juvenile, but every time Dubya McFingerwagger speaks to this nation about other nations it's the first thing that pops into my head. I imagine Vlad The Pooty-Poot in a smoking jacket at the Kremlin in front of a fireplace with spittle flying from his lipless-pale-journalist-snuffing-mouth cursing at his television every time his Bushie-Poo plants his squinty-fat-lying-head onscreen and scolds other countries for not 'doin good at deeemockraahhseee'.

Vlad The Poot chugs high quality vodka the proles can't get from a gorgeous Polish crystal low-ball and smashes the empty vessel into the fire with Bond villain-ish flair and yells: 'You looked into my eyes and saw my soul Meeester Booosch? Vell deed you see me pointing at my ass telling you to kees it? Eh meester big-time cowboy?'

I don't blame The Pootster, as it turns out, 76% of 'Merka feels the same way. But it turns out 'Merka is even more pissed off at Congress than Vlad is at his former brother-in-oligarchy. Gee I wonder why? Oh, yeah...

This week Congress had the planetary-sized titanium balls to....end the Iraq War? Nope. Override the SCHIP veto? Ha! If a family of six can't afford health insurance on 45 G's in 'Merka they ain't shopping at Walmart or the Salvation Army. Did they pass legislation reducing our global warming pollution by 80% in the next 40 odd years? Oh...go stick a corncob in your tailpipe tree-huggers! Congress doesn't deal with that type of piddling nonsense! They tackle reaaally important stuff that means a whole bunch to all of you potential suckers..I mean voters!

Like. Congress decided this week that they need to condemn Turkey for the Armenian Genocide that occurred 65 years ago. Yes, it was horrific and yes Congress should condemn it. That's not really the point. First, Turkey is a lonely secular democracy in the Mid-East and a struggling one at that. Second, now that we've decided to piss them off by condemning them they've decided attacking Iraq is a great idea. Third, the United States has participated and/or ignored plenty of genocide in the mere 231 years it's been gracing the globe's presence. And fourth, we aren't doing jack about Darfur or Burma or any of the other 'Insert Despotic Murderous Regime Serving 'Merkan Interests Here' now are we?

Should Turkey condemn the United States for genocide against the Native Americans we laid waste to in order to build strip malls on every corner? Should Turkey condemn the United States for kidnapping, enslaving and killing millions of Africans? Should Turkey condemn the United States for the internment of Japanese Americans during WWII in the same era they committed their own crime? Should Turkey condemn us for supporting the despotic terrorist-funding Saudi Royal Family? Should Turkey condemn the United States for the near 1 million Iraqi souls lost to our invasion and the civil war we created by invading Iraq? Should Turkey condemn the United States for Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo? If our holier-than-thou Congress is going to condemn genocide maybe they should start off with condemning the genocide they signed off on.

How many of you know that we dropped hundreds of tonnes of depleted uranium bombs on Serbia, Kosovo, Montenegro and Bosnia in the 90's? And how many of you know what happened to the cancer rates in those regions in the last decade? Guess what? The U.S. used the same uranium laden bombs in Iraq during the first Gulf War as we are today to the same devastating effect. Genocide isn't always a matter of mass immediate horrific violent death...sometimes it just invades the DNA of populations as well as the soil they grow food on and water they drink - killing them off at a slower rate. Depleted uranium not only kills off populations of indigenous folks by giving them cancer it also prevents them from having children that can live. And if that doesn't get your Pet Goat, our soldiers who served and are serving are not immune to the effect of depleted uranium.

I'll end this post with a personal message to Congress: Before you decide the United State's slate is so damn clean that at this point in our history you feel we have the moral authority to condemn other nations.....take a look at our own past, then take a look at our present, then listen to the 76% and the 89% of us who are so disgusted with who we've become. Then you take the floor of the House and Senate, take actions to correct every single one of our sins and crimes against humanity.....starting with the one we currently are committing in Iraq. When you are finished with that, then go ahead and condemn Turkey for the Armenian Genocide, because at that point you'll have the right to.

The Childrens

2007-10-04T14:49:00.000-07:00

Five days ago George Bush signed a decree marking October 1st National Child Health Day. Two days later he vetoed healthcare coverage for children. The amount of money we spend to occupy Iraq for two weeks could provide 9 million kids of 'Merka's working poor and lower middle class health care for a year. But instead Dubya McScroogepants says 'How's about we just give the adorable little knee-biters a freaking day instead?' What a great idea! Now the kids have a whole free day to celebrate in the waiting room of an emergency clinic. I can just imagine the National Child Health Day carol sung by the childrens in between their hacking coughs:

Today's the day we celebrate our health

And the fact it won't cost Republican's their wealth

True we may be sick and bleeding

But insurance companies won't be needing

To fear losing those profits they hold so dear

Their Congressional Friends will always be near

To take their campaign donations in exchange for a vote

Against free health care for kids whose parents can't afford a boat

So sing with us now, the children of the poor

We have a day named for our health but healthcare no more

Ya gotta love The Childrens, they are a scrappy bunch. At one time we were all worried 'Is They Learnin?' but after seeing this video I think we can conclude that The Childrens Do Learn. Word is while there is a veto-proof majority in the Senate, the House is a baker's dozen votes shy of the number needed to override Bush's veto of SCHIP. Who'd a thunk that there are some House Republicans that no likey The Childrens?

Sigh, but while The Childrens have proven they do learn can we say the same for The Adults? Eh...not so much. Extending healthcare to more children whose parents cannot afford monthly private insurance premiums of $1,500 is not 'going down the path of socialized medicine' as that pointy-nosed nasal-voiced White House spokes-hole Frau Perrino would have us believe. And the amount of tax revenue needed to cover these kids amounts to about $35.00 per American per year. I wonder how much that compares to how much the Iraq Occupation costs each American per year?

In a socialized medical system, the doctors work for the government which is not necessary with government administered single-payer programs. Private practice doctors currently accept SCHIP and Medicare payments for their services. In fact, private practice doctors have no trouble getting paid by Medicare but have to fight tooth and nail to get paid by private insurance companies. Doctors and hospitals have to pay through the nose to employ people to navigate the private health insurance industry. These government administered programs are run at 1/4 the cost of private health insurance.

But, that's the rub. The Insurance Lobby does not want to be put out of a job. Instead of working to lower their premiums and cover more people, they'd rather spend hundreds of millions a year paying off politicians and producing television ads to fight government assistance. Instead of lowering their CEO's salaries to say only 10 million a year they'd rather pay them four (or more) times as much. If insurance companies just did their freaking job efficiently and competitively we wouldn't need the government to do it for them. But no can do, instead these 'grown-ups' would rather deny health coverage to kids.

So, for those Liberal Drinkers out there that believe children are our future, you can find others just as wild about those little post-fetal buggers as you, right here. The Childrens need more than a 'special day' and a catchy tune to become The Futures. They need The Adults to grow up and do what's right.

They Hate Us...They Really Hate Us!

2007-09-20T17:02:00.000-07:00

Big props to Sally Field for her passionate speech condemning war at The Emmy's. She's soooo right. If mothers ran the world, there would be no such thing as war. But for some reason...our so-called cultural arbitrators have decided American citizens whose career choice lands in the field of the arts; be it acting or music or visual...have somehow relinquished their First Amendment rights.

I guess those so-called arbitrators of culture believe everyone should be as limited in the realm of intelligence, depth and compassion as they are. It's quite amusing how off the mark media critics are in their opinions compared to the current overwhelming anti-war sentiment of Americans, but it's not amusing at all when our elected represetatives share that same opinion.

Thursday September 20th, 2007 is a date that marks a a new low for our government. The Senate could not pass the Webb Amendment giving soldiers and National Guardsmen serving in Iraq enough time off from their tours to keep them from losing their lives, their families, their jobs and their minds. The Senate could not pass the Dodd/Leahy amendment to Restore Habeas Corpus - every human's right to face their accusers and defend themselves in a court of law. But, 72 Senators, which means many Democrats were in that mix, voted to condemn Move On for their ad that asked the question 'Will General Petraeus Betray Us?'. It was a fair question and as polls have shown us, a large majority of the American people believed he would and as a loyal political figure he lived up to our expectations.

But the finger wagging DC Establishment think they can tell Americans that there are people in our government, under civilian rule and paid for by citizens tax dollars, that are off limits when it comes to public criticism. Excuse me but if 'civilians' are fair game for scrutiny then by God so is the military. If the GOP can tear Cindy Sheehan, the 9/11 families, and veterans protesting this war (including those who have served in Iraq) apart then Mr. Petraeus is fair game.

Since when did America become a nation willing to give those in power a free ride? Since never. Americans aren't giving any member of the power structure a free ride and that's not just pissing off Republicans anymore. It seems DLCC Darling Steny 'I Hate The Little People' Hoyer is especially annoyed with 'the base' because we keep insisting his party keep the promises they gave when we gave them the majority.

Both General Petraeus and Ambassador Crocker based their claims of progress and less violence in Iraq on a rebranding strategy promoted by the civilian administration that reclassified the definition of 'insurgent casualties'. If an Iraqi was killed by a car bomb? No longer a victim of the insurgency. If an Iraqi was shot to death from the front rather than behind, no longer a victim of the insurgency. They narrowed the definition of insurgency caused deaths to suit their political purposes. And the so-called 'venerable' General Petraeus hopped on the Parsing Train with his striped conductor hat cocked to the side and his right arm ready to pull the horn and toot a car full of big fat lies because he's a good soldier? I. Think. Not.

Many supposed wonderful Generals (Shinseki, Abizaid, Zinni, Batiste, Casey, Pace and so on and so on) lost their rank or job for telling the truth to the public and the Bush Administration when it comes to Iraq. But for some reason publicly trashing those generals is perfectly acceptable to both political parties but the ones who currently spout the administration's propaganda are off limits. I. Think. Not.

Those who enter the armed forces swear an oath to protect and uphold The Constitution and not the sitting administration's personal desire for unchecked power. And while the petty officers and infantrymen on the lines in Iraq are just following orders, their commanding officers in charge of making sure their oaths are followed are the ones failing them and the American people. Those are who we as Americans have the right to hold accountable.

But if we as a nation are willing to say the military should operate without criticism and without oversight; we are not a representative Republic with constitutionally codified checks and balances. We're something else. Something very dark. Something maybe a small minority of our nation thinks is fine but the lion's share of us are not willing to accept.

General Petraeus is not the only person who should be accused of betraying the American people. The United States Congress, one day after cementing the demise of Habeas Corpus, took the time out of their day to condemn an organization made up of millions of concerned citizens for exercising their right to free speech.

There's a part of me that thinks maybe they all really do 'hate us'. And I have no idea where that puts us in the future. Except for the fact that it doesn't matter if they do hate us. They work for us, no matter how they feel about us. And it's up to us to tell them what to do.

They're Baaaack: Prelude To A Persian Affair and A Liberal's Flirtation With Tough Love.

2007-09-04T16:31:00.000-07:00

Is Summer over already?

Yes kids, Congress is back. And I'm beginning to wonder what the living hell good it does anyone. Besides throw the little people their minimum wage crumbs, pass watered-down-why-did-they-even-bother-ethics reform and pass the 9/11 Commission Recommendations that are being completely ignored by the Bush Administration; what has the Democratic led Congress done since they won their majority?

They caved to GOP fear-mongering and continued funding the Iraq Occupation they promised in 2006 to end. Overwhelmingly passed Joe LIEberman's amendment that prohibits Congress from stopping yet another Neocon War of Choice against Iran. Or how about the time they were bamboozled by Trent Lott (R-Why Is He Still Relevant?) into letting a truly vile Bush judicial nominee that had been blocked by committee through to a full house vote.

You see poor fragile Diane Feinstein's ego has been so bruised by the mean old far left that the delicate little flower was talked out of her vote by that swarthy hot tower of manliness, Trent Lott. Leslie Southwick, an anti-gay, anti-union, anti-workers' rights nominee is expected to get enough votes for confirmation unless of course a Democrat decides to filibuster....I know, I know..I can't believe I wrote that either.

Yeah, yeah, yeah...I know the Republicans have been 'obstructionist'...boo hoo. But you know what? Democrats control what legislation and which nominee hits the floor. Between 2000 and 2006 the Republicans kept every bill they didn't like from seeing daylight. There's no excuse.

How will the Democrats finish up the year? By approving another 50 billion to continue the bloody occupation of civil-war-torn Iraq and caving to the GOP on a timetable for withdrawal? Letting Gone-zo & Co. off the hook because going forward will hurt their chances in '08? Continue to ignore the wholesale theft of our national treasury by corrupt Iraq defense contractors? Or, maybe they'll sing backup to the Neocons on their Top-40 hit 'Bomb Iran Bomb Bomb Iran'? Color me shocked, I figured Barack Obama for a baritone but his last solo effort sounded distinctly more Soprano-like. To be fair, The Dems' golden girl Carmela is also singing the same tune.

Last month Bush declared the Iran Military a terrorist organization without so much as a peep from the left side of the aisle. Kids, the time to sell us another war is nigh and the compliant Right Wing Traditional Media is dutifully practicing their pitch as we speak. Which means the overpaid DC bubble-dwelling DNC Political Crapsultants will be advising their clients to play along lest Fox News' Big Bad Basset Hound-faced Brit Hume calls them wimpy terrorist lovers.

I know some will be upset after reading this post. Why am I not beating up on the Republicans? Why aren't I making fun of the last pitiable self-loathing conservative closet case (or stall case, if you will) to get busted for leading a doubly hypocritical life? Why aren't I berating the GOPunditutes over the last burst of verbal fecal matter that flowed from Rush O'Reilly or his blonde half-brother Sean Coulter's mouth? First of all, it's been done to death. And second of all.....they don't matter anymore.

Even with a compliant media, Republicans haven't been able to convince a vast majority of the people their way is the best way for the nation. In fact, just the opposite is true. Polls show that the American people trust Democrats to find a way out of the war, they trust them more on national security, the economy and yes...even 'family values'.

It's time the left side of the aisle realized this and instead of shying away from their liberal moniker, proudly defended those ideals. Being a Liberal Drinker, I have to tell you it hurts when the party that claims to love the same ideals as I, pretends not to know me Wednesday morning after the first Tuesday following the first Monday in November.

Six months or so pass, then the love letters containing envelopes show up in the mail. A charmingly coy electronic entreaty asking me to sign their petition and throw them another 50 bucks pops into my inbox then the next thing you know they are all over me like Fred Thompson on a Viagra binge; promising me the progressive moon and stars as long as I pay a few hundred bucks to join them for a romantic dinner with just us two and 800 friends.

I'm beginning to feel our consituential relationship is one sided. I call and I write. They promise me they feel the same way then go ahead and vote the other. I give and I give and I give. And what do I get? They grant Dubya McTesticle-wires sole power to take away my right to defend myself in a court of law. I'm tired of the broken promises and erosion of our civil liberties. I'm tired of them refusing our liberal surname as if it's something to be ashamed of.

I don't want a divorce the lovable long-eared lugs. But, they've given me no choice. I'm cutting off any candidate currently in government that has not shown me they will fight for our Constitution, work to actually end the occupation of Iraq, restore habeas corpus, and proudly wear our liberal ideals on their sleeve. Sigh, tough love is soooo hard, especially when the only other political fish in the sea resemble creepy Orwellian carp.

Regardless, I'm going to stay strong. But a political support group would sure come in handy at a time like this. And, there just so happens to be one called Cleveland Drinking Liberally, where you can find like minded souls to kvetch with and solace in a frosty brew laced with tears of frustration. They meet this Sunday at or about 6pm at Sullivan's Irish Pub on Madison Avenue in Lakewood, Ohio. If you see a redhead at the bar with a double of whatever's strongest next to a mound of wadded up Kleenex, come say hello.

Funeral For A Friend

2007-08-23T18:42:00.000-07:00

This evening I went to the funeral of a young man I considered a friend. 36 years old. Killed himself. Had one disappointment too many. Nobody there to talk him out of it. The end. When I knelt at the altar in front of the box that held his ashes surrounded by photos of him alive and young and handsome, that up-to-no-good- gleam in his eye in the pictures..I thought 'now what the fuck did you go an do this for?' I wanted to shake him and yell at him and scold him like a mother. But.

You all know that saying "Nobody likes a smart-ass"? Well, it does not apply to yours truly. I adore smart-asses and he was quite the one. But..I like smart-asses who are genuine and really nice to the core; that was him. He was the total package in that way.

The place his service was held was packed with people who liked him, loved him, and whose lives he touched. Which is ironic because he was always trying to leave Cleveland for some supposed greener pasture. I guess he didn't realize how 'green' he had it here. I'm not sure if it would have made a difference but I wish I would have been able to tell him before it was too late. I'm sure I'm just one member of a big club of people that feel the same.

Regardless, I just have to say how glad I am to have known him. Everybody has an impact on those around them whether they realize it or not. And most of the time we are all the better for it. I think that is something we all need to think about during these weirdly dysfunctional times.

Nothing political tonight kids, just saying farewell to a friend. This song is dedicated to him, the only person under 60 I knew that loved Neil Diamond:

Sweet Caroline

Where it began,I can't begin to knowin' But then I know it's growing strong
Was in the spring And spring became the summer
Who'd have believed you'd come along.
Hands, touchin' hands Reachin' out, touchin' me touchin' you
Sweet Caroline Good times never seemed so good
I've been inclined To believe they never would
But now I, look at the night And it don't seem so lonely
We fill it up with only two.
And when I hurt,Hurtin' runs off my shoulders
How can I hurt when I'm with you
Warm, touchin' warm Reachin' out, touchin' me touchin' you
Sweet Caroline Good times never seemed so good
I've been inclined,To believe they never would
Oh, no, no Sweet Caroline
Good times never seemed so good
Sweet Caroline, I believe they never could.. Sweet Caroline........

Goodbye friend. You will be missed.

Broadcast Snooze

2007-08-16T15:39:00.001-07:00

As many of you who read this blog know, I am an 80's Girl and one of my favorite films is 'Broadcast News'. If you've never seen it, rent it asap. It's a comedic gem, the definition of 'poignant' and sadly, a commentary on how the Traditional News Media began the process of becoming superficial worthless Info-tainment many years ago.

Here's a killer quote from the movie by the 'real news guy' character Aaron Altman referring to the handsome vapid ambitious anchorbot Tom Grunnick:

"What do you think the Devil is going to look like if he's around? Nobody is going to be taken in if he has a long, red, pointy tail. No. I'm semi-serious here. He will look attractive and he will be nice and helpful and he will get a job where he influences a great God-fearing nation and he will never do an evil thing... he will just bit by little bit lower standards where they are important. Just coax along flash over substance... Just a tiny bit. And he will talk about all of us really being salesmen. And he'll get all the great women. "

Hell, this quote not only applies to the Presstitutes, it almost fits Dubya McCondilover & his gang of hoary splotchy corpulent ear-hair snipping cohorts to a tee. In their case I suppose "great women" means right-wing subservient helmut-haired Stepford fembots with hymens thicker than space shuttle skin. But I digress. Boy I really did digress there didn't I? Oops.

'Flash over substance' has been a phrase that frequents my thought-bubbles whenever I watch or read the 'traditional' news-media these days. And what better example of that phrase than CNN's Anderson Cooper for his coverage of the Utah mine collapse. As Arianna Huffington points out, he's ignoring the controversy surrounding the tragedy, treating it soley as a 'human interest' story while also treating the culpable culprit as some saint who is 'standing by the miners' families'. Puhleeeeze! The old rich bastard is following his lawyers' and PR teams' advice and spinning his fat age-spotted ass off blaming phantom fault lines and shedding crocodile tears. Earthquake my ass Bob.

By the way kids, it's utter bullshit for any philly in the Mediacracy stable to sell the line that 'we can't talk about why the mine collapsed while those miners are still missing'. Just like we weren't supposed to add 2+2 on the Minnesota bridge collapse? Silly 'Merkans! Bill Kristol tells us there's nothing wrong with our infrastructure. And you know how he's never wrong.

The Presstitutes cluck dutifully.."it's such bad taste to look for blame while the tragedy unfolds". Jaysus forbid the people actually find out who is responsible or how to prevent more of our loved ones from ending up under tons of rubble. How tacky of you 'Merka! Why aren't you at Walmart cranking up your WalCard balance? Don't you know you embolden the terrrrrisssts when you ask why instead of trying to buy?

If that is indeed the sentiment of the miners' families, then Anderson Cooper shouldn't be treating the mine owner, that has fought against miner unions and safety regulations, like Mother-Effing-Theresa either.

Of course, this latest mine tragedy is just one story the Mediacracy is not covering right. By that I mean, they run defense for every uber-wealthy connected unethical jackass behind every issue by intentionally ignoring the substance of the story. You name an issue: Big Pharma, Big Oil, Charter School Charlatans, Big War (ie Halliburton et al), Big Coal (ie Bob Murray); and the Traditional Media covers it as: Huge Corporation Benefitting Society Say It's Not Their Fault and Some Annoying Liberal Commie Pinko Activists Disagree.

This Sunday Cleveland Drinking Liberally is screening a film about how Traditional Media and Big Politics have been and still are hurting all of us. The film is called "War Made Easy: How Presidents & Pundits Are Spinning Us To Death" narrated by Sean Penn and based on the book of the same title authored by Norm Solomon. While this film examines the issue of war, the same modus operandi can be applied to all of the dire issues facing us today.

Less than 16 months from now we will be choosing two presidential candidates, one president, 34 Senators, and 45 House Reps. If there was a time when we needed to distinguish between flash and substance I cannot think of it.

Hope to see you all there.

Liberally Yours,

Judy

You Spin Me Right Round Baby Right Round Like A Record Baby....

2007-08-09T15:14:00.000-07:00

The title of this post is that of an 80's tune sung by the quirky draggish group Dead or Alive that has been stuck in my head all week. It's been driving me up a wall but at least now I realize why that infernal song is plagueing me so. I watched and read the news this week.

The Mediacracy has been spinning it's pro-administration, pro-Iraq quagmire, pro-attack Iran, anti-Democratic party propaganda more furiously than ever these last two weeks. Now of course you'd assume that I'm talking about Fox News but you know the old saying...you'd be making an ass out of u (you) and me. The truth is, CNN and MSNBC are taking top B.S. Propaganda Honors this week.

Tuesday evening MSNBC's David Shuster was in charge of fact-checking the Dem's AFL-CIO debate and his so-called 'truth-squadding' made me want to taking a running ninja style flying kick at his package with my pointiest pair of boots. Shuster's "gotcha's" were really a matter of opinion with not an ounce of substance, but of course that did not stop him:

Joe Biden said that Bush has ruined this nation. Shuster tsked-tsked this one as false. Maybe he's waiting for 30 more bridges and 40 more mines to collapse before he's willing to agree with Biden. But maybe Biden meant that Bush has ruined the global reputation of our nation? "Oh p-shaw!" Shuster would say...."after all we still have Poland!"

Hillary said that unlike Bush, she would be a POTUS that cares about the Gulf Coast and Shuster got all up in her hizzy about that one. He said "it's a real stretch" to say that Bush doesn't care about the Gulf Coast. OH REALLY DAVY? He must think the fact that the Bush Administration has refused to accept the foreign aid offered to help the people of the Gulf Coast is for their own good. Shuster must think Bush, WHO WAITED FIVE FREAKING DAYS TO EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE THE DISASTER, was just so emotionally overcome with empathy that it took him that long to collect himself enough to engineer those deeply caring-look-a-like photo-ops for his fellow telepunditutes. And the fact that our Secretary of State preferred shoe-shopping and play-hopping in Manhattan over paying attention to a major disaster in the nation she represents should be in no way construed as Marie Antoinette-like. No sir! The Arabian Horse Judge was doing a Heckuvajob! How silly of Hillary to think the Bush Administration didn't care..tsk..tsk.

Personal note to Shuster: truth squadding is checking facts not opinion-mongering and keep your eye out for a pissed off 5'6" redhead in all black wearing stiletto boots. And do the world a favor and tell Chris Matthews that his medication is wearing off. Where's Nurse Ratchet when you need her?

Not to be out done CNN (Conservative News NOTwork), has made sure to be extra cheerleaderish for the administration's policies lately.

Glenn Beck, who recently was honored with an audience along with several other con-radio/blogger types with the Wire-Tapper In Chief, waxed orgasmic at how Dubya McDraft-dodger really feels the pain of every soldiers death. Yeah, I bet he does. Just as he was "anguished" over all those denied clemency requests as Guv'nor of Texassistan. Beck is the prime example of someone who believes shit he wants to believe because it makes him money - you know, he's Republican. Fun facts about Beck: former drug addict, never finished college, current a-hole and inspiration for the character who played the obnoxious stupid bully in Back to The Future, Biff Tannen. By the way, CNN gives this tool four hours on air every night. I guess if you're a white bigoted loser in 'Merka the Republican Party can help you go places you'd never in a million years get to go!

Check out this Orwellian spot with Frau Youvillbelievus interviewing Pentagon stooge General Odierno misleading 'Merkans to believe that Al Qaeda is the whole problem in Iraq when his agency's own reports say they are responsible less than 10% of the violence. He also pushes the "success" of the surge and lobbies for his own membership in the Just Six More Months Club.

Not to be outdone by the Idiot Box the snail press has been very busy:

The never-ever-liberal yet characterized as liberal by the administration and other Neocon Scribblers cuz it suits their needs NYT Pro-Iraq Invasion & Occupation serial cheerleaders O'Hanlon and Pollack's pro-surge Op-Ed that has gotten them the attention they so desperately crave as pro-war leeches on the carotid artery of America always do. Except, they are as wrong as they've ever been. Who needs Judy 'Cheney's Beyotch' Miller when you got these two but as they say on the infomercials...Wait! There's More!
Michael Gordon, the Neocon's replacment-scrivener that by some miracle of circumstance avoided the negative consequences of being a Darth Cheney stenographer his co-byline colleague Judy Miller endured, is at it again. He helped Jude The UnObscure take the country to war in Iraq and now he's dutifully pushing taking action against Iran as any good Party Member would.

Hillary Clinton's cleavage has been the subject of one too many a written article or on-air news segment. So..are they telling the 'Merkan people that cleavage size is vital to their choice for a leader? What about penis size? Is The Mediacracy telling us that we are supposed to literally pick the best fucker to be our president or to put it less bluntly: 'I'd hit that so why not vote for it?' If that's the case then the GOP is in a world of hurt.

The Republicans have crowned Fred 'Droopy Face Denture Boy' Thompson as their "sex symbol". No wonder Republican women are sooooooo uptight, that and that dreaded inevitable "your husband was caught in the bathroom offering blow-jobs" can't do much for their disposition.

Anyhow, these examples are just a drop in the bucket in the propagandic-cesspool that is The Mediacracy. They frantically try to discredit the blogosphere because they do not want the people to have any other outlet for information except themselves. They want to go to cocktail parties and rub elbows with the Albino Son of Satan. They want to be well-paid semi-famous anchor-babes that just repeat news without having any idea of the context and substance that they cover and most of all they all want to keep their jobs because they have very few prospects in the mainstream media market - thanks to the T-Com Act of 1996. And they focus all their energy on the most superficial irrelevant bullshit on the planet to avoid any sliver of truth or relevance from slipping through.

So, that is exactly why Cleveland Drinking Liberally decided to screen the latest Brave New Films Production "War Made Easy: How Presidents and Pundits Keep Spinning Us To Death". I don't know about you but I am so sick of the spin...right round baby, right round. It doesn't end unless we stop it.

Somethin Ain't Right

2007-08-01T18:40:00.000-07:00

Something wicked this way comes....or at least that's the sick feeling I have in my stomach. I found an article entitled "Democrats Scrambling To Expand Eavesdropping" in the New York Times. Now, in my family Mr. Drinking Liberally tends to be the one who prefers aluminum chapeaus more than I, but something about this article really disturbs me.

Why did the Democrats even bother grilling the Abu Gonzales over the NSA Warrantless Domestic Spying Program when they are now are 'scrambling' to give George Bush carte blanche to gut The FISA law as we speak? We've heard testimony that Alberto Gonzales lied about the FBI abuses of this program and witnessed Senators crying foul. Now Harry Reid feels that it is imperative give The Dark Side and his trusty side-kick The Decider a big fat go-ahead to gut the Fourth Amendment at will before they break for summer recess?!

Something does not add up kids. None of the promised action against the administration officials who have ignored congressional subpoenas has materialized. The promised articles of impeachment against Alberto Gonzales that were supposed to come down by noon on July 31st have yet to appear. And now the Dems are bending over backwards to accommodate an administration that has broken the FISA laws, given itself the power to violate the 5th amendment and granted itself dictatorial powers in the instance of a 'national emergency'.

The wonderful Larisa Alexandrovna blogging on Huffington Post sums this whole situation up perfectly:

"There is nothing wrong with the FISA law that the impeachment of Dick Cheney cannot resolve. We, the public know this. More importantly, we the press know that giving the President more surveillance power is not only un-Constitutional, it is also a direct and full frontal assault on the press. Or did you actually think that Karl Rove and his new spy toy are going to go looking for Osama bin who?"

You know that little voice in your head that whispers to you, even nags, when you know something could be true but you don't actually want to believe it? Well my little voice inside has been telling me for the last few months: maybe the Democrats want to hold on to all the power Bush & Cheney have grabbed for the executive in the event they take the White House in 2008. Maybe they won't be so willing to give it back and maybe that's why they aren't impeaching them.

After reading that article in the NYT and Ms. Alexandrovna's piece on Huffington Post that little voice is no longer whispering, it's loud and clear.

Start With The Utensils, Follow Up With The Plate And Finish With The Napkin: How To Set A Table

2007-07-26T16:13:00.000-07:00

Every day we learn more and more about the Bush administration that makes my head spin and my stomach churn. I'm dizzy with disgust. And every day I curse Nancy Pelosi for flat out refusing to set the impeachment table for a nation starving to see the integrity of their government restored. She claims it will be too hard on the nation (aka it will hurt Democratic prospects in 2008). She claims that Congress has more important things to accomplish. Yeah, like the GOP is ever gonna let that happen.

What could be more important than preserving the Constitution? Without our Constitution, we don't have a democracy. Is the farm subsidy bill more important than democracy? What good is a minimum wage when your president fancies himself a dictator? For that matter, what good is a Congress when the president fancies himself a dictator?

Personal note to Nancy Pelosi: it really isn't hard to set the table for impeachment; take it from the youngest of four who had to set the table every day of her life until she moved out of her parent's house after college. Heck, come to think of it, I still do it so I've got several decades of experience in this field. First you start with the utensils (Gonzales), move on to the plate (Cheney) and finish with the napkin (Bush).

Alberto Gonzales is the instrument Cheney and Bush have used to implement much of their anti-constitutional policies. The FBI Patriot Act violations, the NSA Warrantless Domestic Spying Program, torture and rendition, and the politicization of the Justice Department in an effort to weed out state prosecutors that refused to participate in the RNC campaign to disenfranchise voters represent the few agregious policies the public and Congress are privy to. Who knows what else he has done for his dinner companions? This week, Alberto Gonzales was finally unveiled as the forking liar we all knew he was. He's committed perjury in an effort to obstruct the congressional investigation into the NSA program and attorney firing scandal. Ms. Pelosi, it is now time to place Alberto Gonzales, the utensil Cheney and Bush have been using to cut up, chew on and spit out The Constitution with, on the impeachment table.

Next, we have Cheney (rhymes with meany), aka The Plate. He's declared himself a governmental branch unto himself. He refuses to comply with the Presidential Records Act and allow Congress access to visitor logs and non-national security related communications. To this day he continues to spread the Osama/Sadaam connection lie that fooled our nation into preemptive war. Practically every unconstitutional, unseemly, and probably criminal act committed by the Bush Administration can be placed upon Cheney and his office.

Finally, every nicely set table needs a napkin. One that can be folded into a pleasant shape to fit the table's aesthetic. In George Bush's case, that shape would be a watefowl. If you think a Bush without Gonzales would be a lame duck, just imagine him without Cheney. When people finish a meal, they'll often cover the leftovers on the plate with their napkin. Bush has provided cover for Cheney's activities like a champ. He's the Decider (suuuuure he is), The Commander Guy, and can wield a bull-horn while wearing a cod-piece better than any other draft dodging C-student recovering cokehead alchy I've ever seen. Another function of napkins is wiping your hands clean; as Bush has done in commuting the sentence of convicted perjurer Scooter 'The Shrimp Fork' Libby. He's wiped clean any potential evidence connecting himself or The Plate to the conspiracy to violate the Intelligence Identities Protection Act as an act of political retribution.

So Nancy, if you place the utensils and plate upon the table, George Bush will twist into the lamest of duck shaped napkins just in time to plop him down for a finished setting. Only then will Americans finally feel secure enough with their government to take their seats at the table and help you accomplish all those wonderful things you talk about. But if you leave the table empty...you leave the country hungry and that is not going to do your party any favors.

Glimpses Into The Republican Soul or Why I Could Never Be A Conservative

2007-07-10T16:39:00.000-07:00

Every time I ponder the Republicans in office, on television or radio, I think: "These cold-hearted sonsabitches cannot be for real! No freaking way can anybody really be this crazy, devoid of conscience, hypocritical and just plain mean! They're like super-villains from Bond flicks!" And at every turn they keep proving me wrong, they really are that bad.

Tucker Carlson's constant attacks on Barak Obama, calling him a 'pothead' and a 'wimp' for talking about empathy are dumb-founding. I know for a fact that I can kick the snot out of Carlson, bow-tie or no bow-tie, so I imagine Barak doesn't need to take Carlson's pseudo-bravado very seriously. Still, it is evidence of the Republican persona pathology: empathy is weak, indifference is admirable.

This week Bush's former Surgeon General, Richard Carmona, testified that he was told not to attend The Special Olympics because the Kennedy's support that organization. Specifically Carmona was asked by a senior official "Why would you want to help those people?" By those people I'm not sure whether the official meant The Kennedy's or kids with Down Syndrome. I'm guessing both.

Condi Rice tells actor Don Cheadle to get off her back about Darfur. Gawd, liberals are such whiners 'Help those refugees being murdered this and help those poor Sudanese women being raped that'. Don't they understand that Condi has to get ready for the Hairspray premiere?

Married Senator "Sanctity of Marriage" Vitter likes his hookers to put him in Huggies and according to The Washington Madam, most of her Family Values Republican customers 'likey the spanky'. No pithy smarmy observational remark necessary.

Bush's new Surgeon General Nomine believes gay people are diseased. He, however, has no position on freaky-ass Republican Senators visiting hookers for hot diaper duty.

Speaking of gay people or rather men on the 'down low'; a Republican state rep famous for sponsoring legislation related to lewd lascivious acts, indecent exposure, and sexual solicitaion was arrested for asking a cop for a $20.00 blow-job.

Rick 'Santorum' Santorum expressed his hope that the U.S. suffers another terrorist attack to shut up the anti-war movement. A sentiment previously expressed by the head of the Arkansas Republican Party. And folks wonder why some tin-foil-hatters believe 9/11 was planned by the Neocons in the Bush Administration. These sick bastards want American civilians to die hideous violent deaths at the hands of terrorists just to gain some political capital.

Fox News host Neil Cavuto believes that guaranteeing all Americans get affordable health care will embolden the terrorists. He has no opinion however on former GOP Senator's begging Al Qaeda to take us all out.

Joe 'We Really Are Winning In Iraq' Lieberman managed to maneuver a bill that tells Congress it cannot stop Bush from going to war with Iran for any reason. Is Lieberman Cheney's long-lost half-brother or something? What sort of delusional jackass with a death wish would take on Iran when we are bogged down in two other Middle-Eastern Country? My only consolation that Al Gore didn't win in 2000, is that Joe Lieberman would be the Democratic POTUS nominee in 2008.

Then there's Georgie Porgy Puddin & Pie who thinks it's cool to make the little girls cry, the man is insane and substituting 'belief' and 'gut-feelings' for intelligence, diplomacy and strategy. Excerpts from his speech here in The Cleve this week (h/t Slate Magazine, Fred Kaplan):

"We can accomplish and win this fight in Iraq," Bush said at one point in the
speech. "I strongly believe we will prevail … that democracy will trump
totalitarianism every time," he said later, as if the war in Iraq is somehow
about democracy and totalitarianism.

"I wouldn't ask a mother or a dad" to send a son or daughter to this war
"if I didn't feel this is necessary to the security of the United States and the
peace of the world."

Are you kidding me? Bush's strategy is to believe in democracy over totalitariansim? He bases his decisions on whether or not to send our loved ones into war on his feelings? What's the deal Dubya? Did Jebby break your Magic 8 Ball or hide your Ouija Board? Is that why you now have only your belief and feelings to rely on for Decideratin?

As much as the Democratic Party is driving me up a freaking wall with their hollow threats of neutered oversight of the Bush Administration and even though if I wish I could find Senator Ben Nelson and kick him in the balls with my pointiest pair of pumps.......I could never ever ever claim to be on the same political side as the infamous cast of GOP characters I've talked about today in this post.

Rebel Rebel Your Country's A Mess

2007-07-04T06:46:00.000-07:00

On July 4th Eve, I watched Keith Olbermann deliver his latest 'Special Comment' and by the time he wrapped up his passionate verbal essay asking George Bush and Dick Cheney to resign, I had a few tears running down my face. I expect to hear such a rebellious message from a jock on Air America or to read it in The Nation or Mother Jones, but never did I think I'd see it on television. Why is that?

I think back to the Nineties when we endured congressfolk and pundits demanding the impeachment of Bill Clinton 24/7 for two and a half years. Clinton couldn't get jock itch without Ken Starr launching an investigation. Both Democrats and Republicans howled in hypocritical faux moral outrage that 'The Presidency' had been irreparably harmed by an act of infidelity inside the hallowed halls of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

I'm too young to remember the Watergate years but from recalling my history lessons, the newsmen of that time did not hold back on reporting the facts or criticizing the President's actions during A Time of War (or a Time of Police Action whichever you prefer). It was the Republicans in his own administration and Congress that finally said 'ENOUGH!'. And, as Keith pointed out in his July 3rd Special Comment, even Nixon had enough integrity left in his megalomaniacal soul to resign his office for the good of the nation.

These days, the punditry make excuses for Scooter Libby's role in outing a CIA agent to them and Bush's decision to commute his sentence. When they couldn't successfully convince us Ms. Plame was "just a secretary", they pouted indignantly that there was 'no underlying crime' to Libby's perjury and obstruction of justice conviction.

Am I missing something here? What was Bill Clinton's 'underlying crime'? Cheating on his wife? Last time I checked, adultery is not a felony, because if it were then Newt Gingerich would have been wearing an orange jumpsuit with an Irish Spring necklace for the last two decades instead of contemplating a run for the White House. Heck, Fred Thomspon and Rudy Giuliani would be on his cell block.

I'm not sure why Mr. Olbermann's essay drove me to tears that day. Was it because I fear our democracy is dead? Was it because I knew that on July 5th the locksteppers on Fox, CNN, and the other shows on his own network are going to demand HIS resignation for speaking truth to power by demanding the removal of Bush and Cheney from office? Or maybe I realized the next day was supposed to be the celebration of the birth of our democracy and maybe a mere 600,000 of us even saw Keith Olbermann's clarion call to save it, while the rest of the 299,400,000 of us were out drinking, watching reality show reruns or shopping for hotdogs and fireworks.

So I cried for all those reasons (well that and maybe PMS played a little part) but after I dried my tears I had an epiphany (or a hormonal mood swing if you will): July 4th 1776 was not the day The Revolution ended and our democracy was born, it was the day The Revolution began. Our flag does not represent a nation, it represents a rebellion. Our Constitution is not just a document of laws, it is a roadmap towards an ideal form of government that is sure as hell going to take more than 231 years to realize. And, it gave us the tools to right our path when it wandered away from the destination of liberty and justice for all.

So on July 4th, instead of refusing to fly my flag as a signal of disgust for the criminals steering our nation towards a path of destruction as I had planned, I decided to fly it proudly. It's not theirs to twist into some sick symbol of fear induced obeiscence. It's ours and it will always represent the rebellion that created our nation in the first place.

And after I hung my flag, I went back inside and turned on my laptop. I went to both the House (http://www.house.gov/) and Senate (http://www.senate.gov/) websites, found my representatives of BOTH political parties and sent them e-mails asking that they begin impeachment proceedings against George Bush, Dick Cheney and Alberto Gonzales. On Monday, each office will also receive a phone call from me demanding the same. I'll wait a few days and do it all over again and again and again.

Then I wrote MSNBC a note supporting Mr. Olbermann's July 3rd Special Comment and forwarded the video clip to friends and family with a message asking them to do the same.

Of course taking the time to contact my representatives, forwarding the video clip of Olbermann's Special Comment and writing a note supporting him to MSNBC may not be as dramatic or violent as what our forefathers endured to win independence or what those who fought for abolition, civil and workers rights sacrificed.

But I am reminded of the words of two brilliant rebellious Americans. The first being Thomas Jefferson who once wrote: "Every generation needs a new revolution." and another named George Orwell who once wrote: "At times of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act".

Maybe it's a stretch to imply that contacting your representatives, spreading the news to your family and friends or writing a network in support of an anchor are revolutionary acts but if we don't act now, someday they might be.

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Independence Day

2007-06-27T18:37:00.000-07:00

The Preamble To The United States Constitution:

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

The Bill of Rights Amendments To The United States Constitution:

THE BILL OF RIGHTSAmendments 1-10 of the Constitution
The Conventions of a number of the States having, at the time of adopting the Constitution, expressed a desire, in order to prevent misconstruction or abuse of its powers, that further declaratory and restrictive clauses should be added, and as extending the ground of public confidence in the Government will best insure the beneficent ends of its institution;
Resolved, by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America, in Congress assembled, two-thirds of both Houses concurring, that the following articles be proposed to the Legislatures of the several States, as amendments to the Constitution of the United States; all or any of which articles, when ratified by three-fourths of the said Legislatures, to be valid to all intents and purposes as part of the said Constitution, namely:

Amendment I
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Amendment II
A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

Amendment III
No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

Amendment IV
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Amendment V
No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Amendment VI
In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense.

Amendment VII
In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Amendment VIII
Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Amendmen IX
The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

Amendment X
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people.

**********************************************************************************************

To honor these rights established by the founders of our government, we must push for the impeachement of Richard Cheney from the Office of The Vice Presidency of the United States. We must insist that Presidential Signing Statements be abolished by law as they are a de facto Line Item Veto ruled unconstitutional by the Supreme Court in Clinton v. New York.

On this July 4th, please understand that our Constitution has been in jeopardy for quite some time. We can no longer afford to allow our representatives to think we do not care. We must let them know we are active participants in our democracy. Voting is not enough. We must contact them and tell them we do care, we want them to honor the laws of our land and hold those in government who do not accountable.

Men and women died fighting Great Britain for our Independence. Those who dared to sign onto our Constitution were threatened and murdered. Those that came before us died fighting to end slavery. They died fighting for equal rights for minorities and women. They died protesting to end the Vietnam War. The least we can do is take the time to call our Congressmen and Senators and ask them to restore the rule of law and impeach a man that has hijacked our government and spit on our Constitution.

Have a Happy July 4th Liberal Drinkers and please, do more than eat hot dogs and drink beer to celebrate the day our founding fathers signed the document that gave us the foundation of our democracy.

"An elective despotism is not the government we fought for."

- Thomas Jefferson.

But Where Are The Frickin Sharks With Frickin Laser Beams?

2007-06-21T14:23:00.000-07:00

Among the multitude of exasperating items in the news this week, the one that has to be my favorite is that the Pentagon has spent 78 Beeeeeellion Dollars researching Gay Bombs, Teleporting, Invisibility Armor and Sharks with...no, not Frickin Laser Beams but chemical implants and cameras.

Who the hell is running the Pentagon these days, a bunch of nerdy sixth grade boys? I imagine one of their chief strategists pitching these ideas as follows: "Dudes!!! I know...I know what we do....let's make the bad soldier guys gay and stuff and then our invisible soldiers can bolt right past the bad guys while you know they're doing all that gay stuff and then and then our soldiers can teleport back to the sea base before the gay stuff wears off the bad guys and meet our awesome sharks with cameras that took pictures of the bad guys doin gay stuff for blackmail."

Then I imagine another Pentagon strategist in the meeting replying: "Whooaaaa! RADICAL IDEA DUDE! Awww shit dudes, I gotta go...Mom just texted me, it's time for dinner..we're havin frickin meatloaf again dudes, sooooo bogus. Later!"

Hold on...no...this whole thing really isn't funny. Now that I think of it, I'm actually pissed off about this. Now my Austin Powers DVD boxed set isn't worth squat, frickin fifty bucks down the drain. How can I laugh at Doctor Evil's ridiculously idiotic plots when my frickin government is just as frickin stupid as a fictional character dreamed up by the funny yet Canadian SNL alum Mike Myers? What's next? A Heat-Seeking Schwinger Missile? Oh....wait, maybe that's what they were going to call the Gay Bomb.

Speaking of Doctor Evil...Dick Cheney has informed Congress that he declared his office is not part the Executive Branch and is therefore exempt from executive orders. Whaaaat?! So what frickin branch is his frickin evil self a part of? Judicial? No, thank Keeeriiist! Cheney on the bench would make Tony 'The Duck Slayer' Scalia look like a member of Code Pink. Congress? Damn, I wish! He'd have been booted out with his GOP buddies last November.

No.... according to this web page, the Office of the Vice President is indeed included as part of the Executive Branch. So Dick's dream of having his very own personal branch of our government (The Corporate Branch?) is, well, delusional. But why would Dick not want to be part of the Executive Club anymore? I know he and Condi don't get on so well. And I'm sure he misses his little Rummy-poo somethin awful. But, it's not 'co-worker' issues vexing our Closet VP, it's oversight.

Dick Cheney has blocked every effort to oversee his 'public service'. And when the Information Security Oversight Office tried to gain access to inspect his historically leaky office as required by executive order, he intervened to block the inspection. When the ISOO appealed to the Justice Department to force compliance, Dick Cheney asked AG Gonzales to abolish the ISOO.

How can Dead-Eye Dick hide his visitor logs from public scrutiny by turning them over to the White House so they would be protected from FOIA laws and then claim that his office is not part of the Executive Branch? Cuz he's Dick 'Frickin' Cheney and he'll frickin hide what he wants when he wants, including himself. So, how do we stop this mad-man that's hijacked our government and declared himself above our laws?

While it would be sooooo gratifying to stuff him into a rocket-sized Big Boy statue and launch him into space rather than dealing with his delusions of uber-grandeur , I imagine that's no more realistic or legal than what Dick's been trying to pull over the last six years. So, we need to write Henry 'Danger' Waxman and encourage his efforts to hold Dick's head under the law. And then we need to support his side-kick, Dennis Kucinich's effort to legally remove Dick from all of the branches of our government.

And if the Congress folk more concerned with 2008 than the present tell us insolent little American people to zip it? Well, we've got a secret weapon of our own. Just give them a one word answer that will make their blood run cold....Bloomberg. Who needs frickin sharks with frickin laser beams? We have the vote.

.

All The Rage

2007-06-14T14:31:00.000-07:00

Waaa waaa wee waaa! Dubya McNearbeer The Albanian Idol finally found a place other than Texassistan where the crowds don't need to be hand-picked and nobody makes fun of his broken English! Since 79% of the citizens of the country he is supposed to be 'leading', feel the United States is headed in the wrong direction; maybe we could get John Conyers to work out a deal with their President Alfred Moisiu (or as Dubya likes to call him...Alfie The Albanian). Instead of impeaching Bush, we can just deport him to Albania, the one country that likes him. To sweeten the deal we'll throw in a life-time supply of Swatches and O'Douls. Oh yeah, and while you're at it John, see if Transylvania will take Cheney.

This week, while 'Merkans were rapt with schadenfreude at the plight of a poor little rich girl that got thrown in the pokey; a trend formed by corpulent pasty wealthy geezers bent on WWIII has been trying desperately to take off. For weeks they've been trying to blame violence in Iraq on Iran even without any credible evidence. But much to their chagrin, I guess 'Merkans aren't so ready to believe their latest fish tale about weapons. The Neocons even trotted out their favorite Non-Partisan Ass Coverer, Joe Lieberman and had him hit the Sunday talk shows to promote the Bomb Iran idea. Tough luck for them, it turns out that idea is as popular as New Coke and Americans have no interest in further regime change save their own.

Here's a little fact that the overpaid dumb as a bag of door-knobs Democratic strategists haven't a clue about; the United States is not trending towards conservatism and the Democrats do not need to move to the right to get elected. Conservatives actually really really suck at swaying public opinion for extended periods of time and Karl Rove is not the boy genius they think he is. He fashions lies and then tells his charge to just keep repeating his lies. Whoop de fucking doo! Being an asshole does not necessarily make one a genius people.

Sorry but the simple tactic of repeating sing-songy hollow disengenuous phrases ad infinitum does not a real lasting political movement make. Eventually they grow stale and become fodder for the late night comedians to mock. Yeah, yeah I know...the infamous propagandist Goebbels said if you repeat a lie enough it becomes the truth....but as Steven Colbert has illustrated it really only becomes the truthiness. And by the way...Goebbels ended shooting himself in the head.

Let's see...what contemporary Conservative ideals have a shot at becoming an enduring societal trend? Abstinence Only Education? From what I hear, it literally sucks. Creationism? America, please give me a show of hands from those that want medical students who diagnose, operate and prescribe drugs to study the Bible instead of biology text books. Conservative Family Values? Okaaaay...the highest polling GOP candidate has three divorces under his belt and a 25 year old trophy wife. The second highest polling GOP candidate is another serial divorcer that also seems to enjoy cross dressing but since his first marriage was to a second cousin that might help him connect with voters in the reddest of states. Oh yeah, he announced his second divorce during a press conference without telling his wife first and his children don't speak to him. Ohio's own Steve LaTourette used a fax machine to tell his wife he was divorcing her to hook up with one of his young female aides. Two names: Ted Haggard and Mark Foley. And finally...oh the hell with it...just read this.

So I'm just guessing here, but as an amateur trend-watcher I'd say that the 2006 elections that yanked the Congress from GOP was just the beginning of a long trend in America back towards the left of center political position or as I like to call it...sanity. I mean even, it's inventor, believes that Neoconservatism is sooooo yesterday.

And while the Cons have dominated the AM radio dial for decades, the left was messing around with Al Gore's silly internets. Gee, I wonder which of those two will be the bigger influence on our society twenty years from now?

Chicken Hawk Littles

2007-06-05T19:58:00.000-07:00

Okay. Unlike the latest round of Bushies testifying in AttorneyGate, I can recall my past statements and admit to you all that I finally broke down...I watched the Democratic POTUS debate in New Hampshire last Sunday night with my fellow Cleveland Liberal Drinkers. Yeah, I know, I steadfastly and resolutely stated that it was too early for this shit. But I'm a weak-kneed Frenchified liberal remember? You know the type..those that want to fight Al Qaeda with spitballs and let Al Gore's Hippy Commie Pinko Brigade force me to use just one measly square of TP to wipe my ass?

Duh! I'm nothing like the brave patriotic Republix RNC Chairman from Arkansas who says we need more 9/11's and that not enough innocent Merkan civilians can receive the honor of dying in order to prove The Decider is always right! Sigh, the sheer bravery it must take to follow one verrry unpopular man's ever changing words and rationale for invading a country based on manufactured intelligence and the guidance of gutless military-service-avoiding theorists. I am in awe.

Anyway, the Mediacracy disappointed as usual....just the most dumbass yet lazy questions by Wolf 'Puhleeeeeze Don't Hurt Me Uncka Dick' Blitzer I'd ever heard. He asked the slate to raise their hand to answer more questions than an all-day kindergarten teacher with a wicked hangover. It would not have shocked me in the least if Wolfie asked them to raise the left hand if they needed to go 'Number One' or the right one to go 'Number Two'.

And if you hadn't noticed yet; the non-pee-pee/ca-ca questions to the Dems from the Fourth Estate (cough) Cocktail Weenie/Martini Snarfing Mediacracy tended to basically follow GOP talking point framing. The only candidate willing to call that b.s. was John Edwards. He's right. There is no 'War On Terror' and it's merely a 'bumpersticker phrase' the woefully shallow GOP need to retain their grasp onto power. As Keith Olbermann has so adeptly illustrated in two segments: The Inaugural WOT Administration has not tried to prevent any disaster except bad press for themselves and good press for their political opponents. And that's exactly why they push the WOT myth. Well, that and to make their corporate masters ginormous loads of cash. But to illustrate my case, I'll re-cap the achievements of the GOP's beloved War On Terror:

NOT ONE of the U.S. terror scares over the last few years has been successfully tied to Al Qaeda, Sadaam or the Iraq insurgency.

In every single instance, the NSA Warrantless Domestic Spying program has NOT played a part in 'thwarting' the plots they've so successfully PR'd to make 'Merkans piss their pleated Dockers/High-Waisted Security Mom Jeans.

In every instance, the perpetrators were unearthed with old-fashioned police work and the cases have ended up in the courts handled by slimy trial lawyers just as they had during that evil Clinton Administration.

The supposed 'liquid bomb' terror plot that originated in Great Britain resulted in most of the defendants being set free. Great Britain does not make their air passengers limit their liquids or gels to 3 ounces or less and what can fit into a Gladd sandwich bag. I spent several weeks in Florida this past winter without hair products. You want terror? Force women to endure flat or frizzy hair for weeks because NOBODY packages an affordable decent hair-styling product in a bottle less than 4 ounces. I was ready to bite someone's ear off after weeks of enduring bad hair.

Terrorism has increased since we invaded Iraq, globally, with the highest increase of course inside of Iraq.

The 'Shoe Bomber' came from and was on a flight from Great Britain, and yet Great Britain does not require their air passengers to take their shoes off and run them through an X-ray machine before they can go to their gates.

How come we are supposed to fear terror on our shores when they all told us that we are fighting them over there so we don't have to fight them here?

So all the macho fear-mongering the Grossly Obtuse Prevaricating party has slung at us like pissed off monkeys do with feces over these last six years and continue to sling during their POTUS debates is nothing but a smoke-screen or.. poop-screen if you will. There is no War on Terror. It's nothing but their desperate attempt at stealing votes and controlling the masses.

Unfortunaely, Sunday evening Hillary joined her GOP colleagues by tucking her brains and ovaries somewhere no one would dare venture and playing the Rudy 'Adulterous 9/11 Profiteer' Giuliani Card at Sunday's debates by posturing herself as some kind of lame wannabe ChickenShitHawk....cuz she's a real New Yawkah yah know...fuckin-A We are safer than we were before Nine-Eeee-leven and Mama Walmart will keep us that way!

America is tired of their leadership using 9/11 to beat them into submission. I imagine that's why Obama's message of hope and Edwards' of pragmatism are so popular. And America is starting to realize there are many other issues unrelated to phantom boogeymen with their evil-doer plots and more germane to their daily lives.

The Henny Pennies in or seeking to gain power need to worry about stemming global climate change and it's affect on agriculture, the fact the Gulf Coast is still a mess from Katrina, the growing income gap, the cost of health care and energy, fair trade policies, workers rights, affordable college, living wage job creation, restoring habeas corpus, the current degradation of our Clean Air/Water acts and so on...these are problems with far greater long term dire implications to millions of people than the red herring 'War On Terror' both parties seem so infatuated with.

For many other reasons unrelated to terrorism our sky might really be falling. During these debates, we'll see who is more interested in working to prop it back up in order to keep us safe allowing us to grow and solve problems or who prefers to use it's impending crash to keep us all in perpetual fear to grab power.

AAAAARRRRGHHHH!!!!!

2007-05-23T18:22:00.000-07:00

At a press conference this Thursday, Dubya McNormanBates illustrated that he is mother-effing-off-the-chain-batshit-call-the-men-in-the-white-coats-crazy. David Gregory (R-Beltway Cocktail Weenie Eater) had the nerve to ask a question other than "How can you be such a strong steadfast and resolute leader? Is it cuz you talk to God?" Sooooooo, The Spooker In Chief proceeded to tell Gregory in his trademark basic language that: "Osama's gonna git your kids! He's gonna kill 'em all dead! That's why you darin to ask me all your smart-guy questions is gonna get 'em murdered dead by them there Islamofascists we created by invadin Iraq! Ooga Booogaa Boogaa!" Alright....he didn't really say 'Ooga Booga'.....but you can clearly see in his face how badly he wanted to.

This is the man the Democrats cannot stand up to on the Iraq Funding Bill? A man who has a 29% approval rating and an administration imploding under the weight of it's corruption and cronyism? A man who has taken to scare-mongering the milquetoast DC Beltway White House Press Whorps with threats of their children being murdered in response to fair questions about his policy and leadership? Even our wild-life knows this pathetic little man is full of shit. Are you fucking kidding me Reid? Newsflash Ms. Pelosi, the left didn't put your asses in the majority because we blindly follow whoever holds the gavel.

Democrats are fine with using those who are passionate about the issues and protecting the Constitution to get elected. They excite us with hearings and investigations that have yet to result in legal action against the offenders who used their office and/or access to our government to steal money and grab power. And, no laws have been passed to prevent further abuse. So when it's time for them to come through on the most important promise they made to the American people, which was to end the Iraq debacle? They allow pea-brained Fox Noise Propagandists to beat them back into a corner like a Gitmo detainee. Is all of this nothing but the political theater the Republix claim it to be? I don't know, but if I were to pick my choice for POTUS right now, it would be Keith Olbermann.

My mom was fond of responding to my rebellious teenage rants with the age-old phrase: 'Honey you just can't fight City Hall' or in other words 'the people have no power'. Either I finally convinced her that I was right or knowing her time was short, she felt she had nothing left to lose, irregardless...she started fighting it right along with me during her last year. She signed petitions, sent money to campaigns, argued with detractors (including her husband), and voted for a party she'd never had voted for before. And as I write this, I hear the news the Senate passed the Iraq Occupation Extension Bill. I'm sick to my stomach, my heart feels like it's being squeezed by a rich white meaty blood-stained hand. I thanked her for joining my fight during our last precious time together. Sorry Mom, wherever you are....maybe I was wrong and you were right after all. It looks like City Hall has won again.

Others' Mother's

2007-05-08T20:58:00.000-07:00

As embarrassing as this is to admit, it was just about one year ago that I learned the origin of Mother's Day began with a peace movement. It was one of those head-slapping moments. Of course! Who first and foremost but those that put their entire being into raising a child would fight for peace? It explains my own mother's change of political heart before she died. When we would talk politics leading up to the 2004 election, she told me that she voted for Nixon because he promised to end the Vietnam War and then shortly after he won office, he carpet-bombed Cambodia. So when the Bush administration pushed to go to war in Iraq, she knew better than to trust their word. As Dubya McAWOL really meant to say..."Fool me once shame on me, fool me twice shame on you." Or a better example of wisdom might be from Spanky of The Little Rascals: 'You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can't fool Mom'.
'
Imagine what Iraqi mothers have been experiencing over these many years. Their child goes off to school, some fundamentalist extremist asshole sets off a car bomb as that child seeks to enter the school's doors and in an instant the love of their life is dead. Or what about the victims of the forgotten war in Afghanistan? Their daughters witness fundamentalists executing their teachers for teaching girls. How do you deal with that? How do you deal with telling your daughter her teacher was murdered for teaching her? And how (or do) you continue her education? Iraq's universities are under constant attack and many professors have been assassinated. Do Iraqi and Afghani mothers encourage their children to further their education at such a risk? Or do they keep them holed up at home ensuring their children never realize any of their dreams and condemning them to a life of poverty?

In many a third world country; large corporations have destroyed the environment, enslaved the populace into forced labor, bought off the local governments, murdered leaders who wanted to do right by the people and left mothers with only polluted water and arid land with which to feed their children. If those children don't die of hunger, they die from diarrhea from the bacteria in their water or from AIDS because US foreign aid currently under the Bush Administration, forbids funding condom education. In some of these regions; government militias easily manipulate the populace with fear, rape and murder of the children. Or they kidnap the children and force them into becoming murderers themselves. What goes through the mind of a woman in Darfur while she in the throes of pain during the delivery of her child? Does she dare hold any hope of a future for that child's life? Does she worry the boy she has just brought into this world may someday kill her?

In China and other third world nations, mothers and their children work seven days a week, 14 hours a day... sometimes till they drop dead, so Americans can buy cheap crap at the local ExploitMart. My brother is a VP for a shipping company, he told me that the United States' largest export is used paper that is recycled and made into boxes in China to hold all that cheap crap they manufacture and ship to the U.S. Yep, you heard right. America's largest export is our own waste. Do the poor sweatshop worker mothers of China hold their newly born infants on their chest, breathing in their scent, offer a pinky finger for their newborn to grip and kiss their fragile forehead while feeling hope this child will get to live a good life? If so, how long does that hope last till their reality sets in?

My mom was always there to give me hope and champion or give guidance on whatever I wanted to do. And save for legality or common sense, she never put any restrictions on what I could do with my life. She was an Irish-American female force of nature that didn't take any crap and was, as she characterized herself , 'a lioness protecting her cubs'. But, save the occasional 'Liver For Dinner Night' my siblings and I never went hungry. Though I know she would have, she never had to throw her body on top of any of us to shield us from a car bomb. Being an American citizen whose parents made it into the middle-class after emigrating two generations prior, she knew her kids would never sew cheap garments 100 hours a week to make pennies a day.

So since this coming Sunday is Mothers Day, I hope that anyone reading my guilt ridden rant (Duh! it is Mother's Day, what else did you expect?) decides to take some time to honor the true origin of this day and do something about peace and helping all the 'other mothers' that deserve to share the same hope we here in America do, for their own children. Oh yeah... and don't forget to comb your hair, tuck in your shirt, take out the garbage, clean your room and shut the door already! You weren't born in a barn were you?

Back To The Future

2007-05-03T15:08:00.000-07:00

Fellow Liberal Drinkers, I did not watch the Republican POTUS debates. I stand steadfastly and resolutely by my previous statements that it's way too freaking early for this shit. But, I did spend several minutes watching Chris Matthews' pre-show on MSNBC. If I heard him lovingly reference Ronald Reagan in a Jeff Gannonish-way twenty times, I heard it a thousand and not just because the debates were being held at Reagan's tomb. I'll get to that disturbing little fact later. But for the time being...Eeeewww! Anyway, what I got from my mercifully short viewing of MSNBC's 'DC Pundits With Dead Man-Crushes Gone Wild', is that they and the GOP believe what America needs and wants from them is another Ronny.

Do they long for a president that will be mentally incapacitated his entire second term? Does the nostalgia of a nuclear arms race with the former Soviet Union bring a tear to their eye? Or is it just that they miss those good old days when their scandals were slightly fewer and the biggest one merely involved selling arms to Iran? Can't say that I blame them completely, seeing that their Commander Guy and his gang of Rubber Stampers are responsible for the Scandal Tsunami that swept their dreams of a one-party state far out of reach last November. Or maybe it's just that they miss the 'glamour' of the 80's....wanton greed, snorting coke and being called Yuppies...

I don't remember much good about Reagan or the 80's. I will forever hate that pink-cheeked mentally-demented SOB for refusing to acknowledge HIV/AIDS as a major health threat . Former Reagan Administration Communications Director (and current MSNBC pundit) Pat Buchanan, claimed that AIDS was 'nature's revenge on gay men'. Reagan's position on HIV/AIDS not only contributed to the spread of the disease but fomented the heinous persecution and discrimination of dying people.

I remember his skinny reeyoch beyotch of a wife telling poor folks to 'Just Say No' to drugs; the twentieth-century's equivalent to 'Let Them Eat Cake'. I remember Reagan tried to get ketchup classified as a vegetable for the lunches we provide poor and low-income school children after he called all of their mom's 'Welfare Queens'.

I remember my middle-class parents struggling with high interest loans and higher taxes. They had two kids graduating from college during the middle of his first term and two more entering college at the beginning of his second. I don't think my poor mom even smiled even once that entire decade. I remember huge budget deficits and the destruction of the air traffic controller's union. Reagan's domestic policy screwed both the poor and the middle-class equally.

In 1984, the same year I graduated from high-school, the Doomsday Clock inched the closest it ever had towards 'midnight' due to Reagan's nuclear arms policy. A movie starring Matthew Broderick about the near nuclear annihilation of our planet, called War Games, was nominated for 3 Oscars in 1983. Another 1983 movie gem which was made for TV, called The Day After, about what would happen the day after we bombed the crap out of each other with nukes, was all the talk in the hallways of my high-school. The 80's were scary as hell.

I remember that we lost John Lennon in the 80's and to this day I dream of how he would have been another brave vital voice against the malicious idiocy of the Bush Administration and their vacant-eyed-drooling followers.

The Republicans want to give Americans another Reagan? The last guy they shoved down our throats, Dubya, is Reagan on steroids, booze and cocaine. And incidentally just as mentally incapacitated albeit in a different way. I haven't been this frightened of the state of our nation or world since Reagan was president.

Personal aside to the GOP: For reasons I list above Ronny was not the best your party has offered America. How about another Roosevelt, Lincoln or Eisenhower instead? Not only were they much better examples of true leadership but they are just as dead as Ronny so you can satisfy your morbidly obsessive creepy stalker-ish tendencies by debating at their grave-sites as well.

The current decade under Republican leadership is even scarier and crappier than the last one they gave the American people. Instead of the Doomsday Clock we have the Rapture Watch. Instead of a nuclear race, our illegal invasion of Iraq has radicalized millions of Muslims against the west. Instead of HIV/AIDS, we have accelerated global warming and climate change threatening to wipe out the human race. We cannot afford another 'The Next Reagan'.

For our sake, let's hope that 2008 will be the year that the GOP realizes that going back in time to fix the future is only possible on a studio lot in California. Hello...McFly!

A Farewell to....Sex.

2007-04-17T18:00:00.000-07:00

When Dubya McAwol was informed of the tragedy at Virginia Tech, he publicly expressed his condolences to the families of the victims and in the next breath reiterated his belief in right of 'Merkans to bear arms. Ya think he could have waited a day or two after the families got over the initial shock before he sent his big wet butt-smooch to the NRA over the airwaves? This is further proof that it really is for the best he doesn't attend military funerals.

The GOP (R-The NRA's Beyotch) seems to think more guns are the answer to mass murder on campus. Arm the students! Arm the teachers! Arm the lunch-lady! Yeehaw! They fancy themselves Rambos in their wet dreams while avoiding the real life gunfights they could experience if they had the balls to enlist. Those Republix just crack me up. If all 'Merkans (including the brown, poor, atheist, gay and female ones they don't like) really did carry guns those chicken-hawk turds wouldn't leave their basements.

Speaking of stinky reich-wingers: today the SCOTUS upheld the Machievellian late-term abortion ban passed & signed during the last Congress by smug old white guys that need a Cialis drip to get it up enough to take a standing piss. Thanks to Samuel Alito, the man who wrote the anti-choice game-plan for eliminating female reproductive rights for Reagan, this decision was made into the law of the land with no exceptions for the welfare of the mother. Gee, I wonder what other future medical decisions Bush's Supreme Court will make for us little folk?

Sadly, as long as the NRA keeps the GOP and the DLC Dems in their pocket; it will be a miracle if we see the common sense gun reform a large majority of us support - let alone an end to tragedies like VT or Columbine. While we cannot count on even the Democrats to stop the Right Wing War On Uteri, there is something we 'Merkan women can do as far as this SCOTUS decision is concerned. We can withold all sex (including oral) from our male partners until Congress passes new legislation on this procedure that ensures the health and welfare of women.

No sex means no pregnancy which means not putting ourselves in harms way just to ensure the survival of the human race. Let's see how expendable 'Merkan men think women are after six lonely months with Rosie Palm, her five sisters and the stark reality of their DNA coming to a halt with their own passing.

I Know I Am But What Are You?

2007-04-11T18:42:00.000-07:00

So, a grizzly racist sexist buffoon lost his show for being the jerk-off he is. Can't say I'll miss Imus' affectionate terms for Jewish folks or black people or women, or other societal groups he obviously didn't like because they weren't white, the correct religion or male enough.

I don't know where the white males of the correct religion who are the DC political and journalistic elite will go for their network legitimized frat-boy humor anymore, but....Hillary Clinton got the last laugh now, didn't she boys? And unlike old Donny, she still has a J-O-B! Ha! I guess the I-Man has just learned what a ruthless bitch karma can be. Aw. OK enough gloating. Please read these posts by Barbara Ehrenreich and Nina Burleigh on the subject, I guarantee a chuckle or two.

Our communication as a whole has become a whole lot coarser over the years granted but, sorry white folks, you cannot blame Hip-Hop alone for this phenomena. Black people and Hip-Hop artists did not invent the N-word nor were they first to put it to use as a derogatory term for black people. No - that honor goes to caucasians. Women didn't invent the word 'bitch' nor did they think 'Hey, what a neat nickname for ourselves!', that honor goes to men. And finally, gay people didn't get together one day and think 'You know what I'd like to be called? F***ot has a nice ring to it!' No - that honor goes to heterosexuals. In every case where a derogatory term in our language has been coined and used to demean a group; the majority group with all the power has been the one to do so.

Being a woman, I can understand black and gay people using these derogatory terms in their own way to take the power of those insults away from those who coined and used them to demean. Because I no longer get upset when a man calls me a bitch, I just think 'Yes I am and what are you going to do about it Biff?'. Taking back your own power by taking the power out of their insults feels good and right.

I'm not about to let the Hip-Hop culture totally off the hook, some artists use language that promotes sexism and violence gratuitously; but many others use some of this derogatory language to express the societal condition they know. Don Imus cannot blame Hip-Hop for the impetus that drove him to call those girls 'ho's', he's a good old cowboy that promotes country music for f**ks sake. He used those words to put down women playing sports.

I know lots of folks are upset at how much coverage the Imus thing has gotten over other news but I have to tell you I am relieved a guy like him was exposed. It's not news that we have a race problem in this country but our ingrained sexism came to light when Imus and his gang of sexists giggled when calling a group of young tough women kicking serious butt on the basketball court "ho's".

This brouhaha isn't going to 'destroy free speech' as the wimpy Rush Limbaugh and other white male 'shock jocks' seem to fear. What they fail to understand is that free speech is not without consequence. Of course they still have their constitutional right to call me a bitch or a ho; but that doesn't mean I have to shut up and take it. It's just as much my right to stand up for myself and say to them: "Women are responsible for most of this nation's household purchasing decisions and I think I'll give your advertisers a little jingle. Oh and another thing, that's Mrs. Supreme Bitch-ho to you and don't you forget it".

Women Behaving Badly

2007-04-05T15:10:00.000-07:00

Sigh. These days women just refuse to know their place. If it isn't Rosie O'Donnell getting Bill 'O Falafelly all red and splotchy in the face or Elizabeth Edward's refusal to crawl in a hole and die; it's that uppity Nancy Pelosi thinking that just because she's third in line for the presidency and leader of the co-equal branch of our government she can go on a diplomatic mission.

It's been quite amusing to witness all the Con-men getting their starched name-tagged BVD's twisted up over Pelosi's trip to Syria. Dubya called it a 'bad decision' (unlike all his GREAT decisions right?). The wingnut blogosphere screamed in typical hypocritical faux-feminist outrage: 'Eeeek! She wore a headscarf'. Yosemite John Bolton said: Well tarnation! 'She's just bein counter-productive!' . The Washington GOPost Talking Point Page harrumphed: "She's trying to run a shadow presidency!" And finally, Dick 'The Mad Lurker' Cheney lamented to a fellow fat-ass fat-cat that Nancy's been a baaaadd girl....you see he's the only one allowed to run a shadow presidency.

Naturally, not a one mentioned that Bad Boys of their own party had been taking in the Syrian sights of late. Where are the harrumphing 'counter-productive, bad-decision, shadow-presidenting' accusations for these guys? Are they off the hook because they didn't wear head-scarves? Oops! Silly me! I completely forgot the conservative double-standard rule! They were men and they were Republican..duh! The GOP Syria delegation could have taken Osama Bin Laden out for an all-night titty-bar hopping binge and Sean Hannity would have declared them Patriots.

Not to be outdone by the guys, old boy's club member wannabe and CNN punditute Suzanne Malveaux (R-Bushiette In Training) has exhibited the worst case of penis-envy I've witnessed in a long time. Sorry kids, Anne Coulter doesn't count; there's no envy there. And Michelle Malkin is fine with not having a penis, it's them foreign-looking folks that freak her right out. Anyhow, I digress. Back to the boy named Sue.

While filling in for Wolf 'Please Don't Hurt Me Mr. Cheney' Blitzer on The Situation Room this week, Catty Sue claimed Ms. Pelosi (third in presidential succession and leader of Congress) has no standing to embark on diplomatic trip to Syria and that it was a 'big wet kiss' for their president. MEEE-OW Malveaux! What's her angle? Helen Thomas' front seat in the White House Press Corps Briefing Room? Or perhaps behind the podium? Geez, and I thought Blitzer was a GOP toe-sucking hack! It just goes to show that the old saying is true: anything a boy can do a girl can do better.

And it's obvious that old saying is exactly why the Cons & their media concubines can't stand Nancy Pelosi...she's a really good effective Speaker, better than anyone they could come up with. She'd never get a Medal of Honor or a "Heck of a job Nan!"from Dubya. The Cons don't like leaders, they like followers. They eschew competentcy in favor of scapegoating. They prefer fear over respect. They despise government and Pelosi is showing Americans what good government can do...which is a hell of a lot better than we've had the last six years.

United States, Inc.

2007-03-22T16:30:00.000-07:00

Reason #45,983 why Republicans should not be allowed within breathing distance of education policy: today former Fox News spokeshole Tony 'I Don't Know' Snow stood at the podium in the briefing room and told reporters 'Congress does not have over-sight responsibility over the White House'. Does he mean that Congress cannot approve the caterers for state dinners? They can't order pruning of The Rose Garden? Maybe he thinks that Congress might sanction Barney for taking a crap in the Lincoln Bedroom. Alas, while Snow is a tad on the simple side he's not that simple.

Snow's statement had no other meaning than he believes Congress has no responsibility to act as a check on the Executive and that Congress is not an equal branch. Snowjob should audition as a contestant on that new show on his old network "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?"...he might learn something about government which might be of use.

Implying that Snow is just ignorant regarding the framework of our system of government is likely inaccurate. The 'Bushies' do not view government as The Founders had or most Americans do. This administration is led by and rife with private-sector cronies that view government as a corporation. They look at Congress as middle-management tasked with implementing upper management (administration) policy. They do not understand that the Executive Branch is there to 'execute' the laws passed by Congress, not the other way around. When Congress fails to 'play ball' they get 'a warning' from BushCo, like here, here, here, here and here.

As is often common in corporate culture, becoming a valuable team player in BushCo does not necessarily require education, talent or experience applicable to the department where one is placed- it just takes loyalty and unquestioning obedience. Another trait BushCo and corporate culture have in common is that when one of the big bosses screws up, they fire the loyal underling that did as he/she was told. George Lakoff explains this is how conservatives 'hold themselves accountable'.....when caught in a scandal, they fire those who followed the bad policy rather than those who developed and implemented it.

For six years prior to November 2006, The Warner-In-Chief didn't have to worry too much about Congress disobeying his orders. But, as Mama Boxer told that James Inhofe (R-Tantrumtown), elections have consequences. So after six long years citizens are getting a refresher course on how our government was meant to operate.

No executive be they public or private sector has the 'privilege' to use their office in an unethical or illegal manner. The 8 federal prosecutors involved in Gonzo-gate were not fired for national security concerns. They were not fired for poor job performance. They were fired because they brought cases against corrupt Republican officials and refused to prosecute phantom 'voter fraud' cases.

There are some out there who are upset that Gonzo-gate distracts from the issue of Iraq but they shouldn't be. We cannot tolerate an Executive branch that puts itself above the laws of our land and views our of/by/for the people government as their own personal Enron. We are the shareholders of the United States of America and Congress is our Board of Directors. This is the first step in reclaiming our ownership of this country and finally holding the Executives themselves accountable.

Why, You Must Be Mistaken!

2007-03-14T20:09:00.000-07:00

This week we learned that our congressionally approved state federal prosecutors 'serve at the pleasure of the president'. Is it just me kids or do you all get a wicked case of the heebie jeebies when you hear that phrase now? It has an icky pervy S&M Master/Slave vibe. Eeeewww! Not only that, I was under the impression that serving at the pleasure of another in any state except Nevada was a felony.

I don't know if Gonzo The Factually Challenged Torture Boy knows this or not (he could), but most of us could actually give a flying crap whether Dubya McPleasurePants receives said emotional gratification or not. His position as the highest elected official of the United States does not exempt him from the law or ethical traditions of his office. In fact, Mr. Bush serves 'at the pleasure' of the citizenry of this nation (eeeewwww!) and it has become way past high time we illustrate this truth to him as he clearly believes otherwise.

The president's pleasure , according to his administration and the other assorted Republix butt-smoochers, is supposed to be of utmost importance to the entire planet dontcha know? The rest of the world has forgotten to show their gratitude for the Iraq invasion and our support of corporations that rape and pillage their natural resources; and this displeases him. Don't they realize that he is The Commander In Chief Of Everything And Then Some?! Sheesh, it's almost like they really don't.

Now folks, don't expect perfection from our pleasure-seeking President or his pleasure-giving followers. I mean, as far as we know, they are human and have illustrated a willingness to admit mistakes. Granted the ownership of said mistakes still remains a mystery, but something tells me this administration would find admitting who made them very unpleasant.

Over the last six years we've heard a lot about The Mistakes that were made: Walter-Gate, Torture-Gate, Katrina-Gate, Abramoff-Gate, Warrantless Spying-Gate, Foley-Gate, Plame-Gate, WMD-Gate, Iraq-Gate, just to name a few..and now we've got Gonzo-Gate! Daahaayammm! That's a whole mother-effing boat-load of mistakes! And they still have their jobs! Hmmmm.

You know kids? I think that I will adopt this ass-covering responsibility-avoidant language for myself! It certainly seems to have worked like a charm for the Bush Administration. Just think of all those pesky consequences of the 'mistakes' I make that I'll be able to get myself out of!

The next time I am pulled over for speeding, I will say "Officer, I admit mistakes were made. First, Volkswagen put an accelerator pedal in this vehicle and it was placed there to use it at my pleasure. Second, speed limits have become quaint. Finally, it is a well-established fact that 'speed limit failure' blame is shared among the local, state and federal governments." Of course, the reasonable officer will succumb to my logic and let me go without even bothering with a silly warning.

Wow, maybe I really should thank Bush! Not paying any price for my wrongdoing opens a whole new world to me! All I have to do is say that a mistake was made and I can do anything I want. I don't have to say who made it. I don't have to say why 'it' was made. I don't have to even give one little smidgen of a detail as to how the mistake came into existence. How exciting! I can't wait any longer....I'm goin for a ride!

Pardonnez Moi?

2007-03-08T14:47:00.000-08:00

Good news kids! Our justice system isn't completely broken yet! Scooter Libby, bestial pedophile porn auteur extraordinaire, was convicted on four counts of perjury & obstruction of justice. Fitzy did a bang up job prosecuting this case and will inevitably be rewarded in the standard Bush Administration manner by receiving his pink slip. Had Fitzy thrown the whole thing he would have been eligible for a bright shiny Medal of Freedom; good thing he's one of those guys who isn't into jewelry.

Just over two hours after the verdict was announced, the neocon rag, The National Review posted an op-ed signed by all it's editors called "Pardon Libby Now" on their website. The Wall Street Journal, still too snobby for the internets, published their 'Pardon Libby' whine on snail-news the next day. Surprise, surprise! To summarize both treatises: when a Democrat lies about a blow-job, it's perjury but when a Neocon lies about covering up an act of treason...it's 'criminalizing politics'. Color me shocked.

The bad news? Last night two of the case's jurors were interviewed on the cable news shows and both expressed views that poor little Scooter-pie shouldn't be forced to wear soap-on-a-rope in a communal shower 'cuz he was just covering for his big mean boss! These jurors felt sorry for a man that obstructed an investigation into the illegal outing of a covert CIA agent and their brass plate operation, Brewster Jennings, set up to gather intelligence on WMD's in Iran. They felt sorry for a guy deeply involved in a revenge operation that compromised our national security and drove our nation to war on false pretenses. How disturbing is this scenario? People who judged that this man did in fact commit these crimes that have destroyed so many lives...want him pardoned.

I wonder how 'sorry' these same jurors would have felt for the defendant had this been an average case involving drugs with an average human being who was poor & dealing drugs because asking people if 'they want fries with that' can't pay the bills no matter how many hours a week they work. Would these same jurors be so willing to give the defendant a break? The answer is no. Even when the defendant is the girlfriend or wife named as an accomplice who was not directly involved at all. As someone who has sat on a jury like that, I can tell you the average sympathy for a person in that predicament I described is less than zero.

But, golly gee, put a really nice harmless-looking white guy in a nice suit with a perky perfect white wife standing by his side with a brood of perfectly cute white little private-school-going scrappers who sold the national security of his country out for political power in front of any 'Merkan jury and by gum we gotta pardon that guy! Hell that's the only reason we found him guilty cuz we'd know he'd be pardoned!

Logically it should be the other way around, you'd think we'd hold people of financial privilege and/or education who know better to, at the very least , an equal standard. But the average 'Merkan feels more sympathy for uber-wealthy bubble-people who get away with crap they couldn't than people of their own social standing. For example: Britney Spears should lose custody of her children. Any average woman in this country who publicly flashed her private parts, shaved her head, ran around screaming she is the Anti-Christ, been in and out of rehab four times in two weeks would most definitely lose her children. But not Britney. We're all sooooooo worried about this nutcase.

But the lady down the street who's working three jobs & raising her kids on her own with one four-hundredth of the income Ms. Spears enjoys can't fuck up even once without the fear of losing her children and no jury in our nation would feel one tenth as sorry for her as they would widdle Scooter-pie or Britney-poo.

So, pardon me Libby case jurors, but you are literally delusional if you think Scooter should be shown a shred of mercy. This man promoted a lie that put people in danger and embroiled our nation into a war that has cost us dearly in lives and treasury...not out of loyalty to his country but out of loyalty to an 'idea' he signed onto and out of loyalty to a political party. While you may sympathize with him, he has illustrated that he could give a rat's ass about you. But then again...maybe that's why you liked him sooo much.

Green With Envy White As A Sheet

2007-02-28T17:13:00.000-08:00

True story kids. While relaxing on my sofa Tuesday evening watching cable news with my two English Cocker Spaniels napping happily upon my lap, doing their best imitation of an Afghan and keeping me toasty warm on a cold winter evening; my remote control batteries died right when my channel surfing stopped on Fox News during the Squeaky Sean & alan colmes show. Damn! If I get up the dogs will wake up and want to go outside then they'll get all cold and I'm soooo warm and comfy right now.

Then...the camera panned over to some creature...it had long yellow hair, was wearing lot's of whorey makeup and had an adam's apple? Is it one of the Nelson Brothers? No...I remember that their dye jobs were much better and it's wearing a dress.

Suddenly, it opened a ginormous hole in it's face exhibiting rows of large white teeth and a voice that sounded like an amalgamation of Valley Girl and Charles Nelson Reilly emanated from deep inside...."Al Gore and the Liberals want us all to die, they want us all to only use candles and go to the bathroom outside, Al Gore and liberals want to force all the humans on the planet to wear birkenstocks and eat tofu before they kill them all" it brayed.

"Sweet Jesus on a popsicle stick, what the fuck is that?!" I yelled. Needless to say, my wannabe Afghans received the rudest of awakenings when they hit the floor as I jumped off the sofa and ran screaming 'Make it stop! Make it stop' heading for my kitchen to find the battery charger. I tell you guys, I'm still having nightmares and sleeping with one eye open.

Last Sunday evening, a former statesman and tireless activist was honored when the movie based on his powerpoint presentation (of all things) won the Oscar for Best Documentary. On Monday morning, like the green-eyed yellow bellied scared whiter than a sheet freaks of nature they are, the Republix began their smear campaign against Al Gore. Sure, it's all bullshit and a desperate swift-boat job by a hastily thrown together group of a stereotypical pro-corporate oil-industry GOProstitutes.

But, unfortunately this pile of steaming lies has made it around the world a few times and the only US news program that fact-checked the damn thing is Keith Olbermann's Countdown. CNN has repeated the smear without presenting Al Gore's response or looking into the dubious origin and connections of the group who launched it. ABC, ditto. CBS, ditto. Do me a favor kids...especially CNN because the Lou Dobbs show was extra heinous in gleefully repeating the smear without presenting the facts...write these networks and tell them to report the fucking truth for once.

Regardless, I'm wondering, why beat up on Al Gore? Haven't they done that to death? Well, seeing they still blame Bill Clinton for everything from 9/11 to Katrina to Restless Leg Syndrome, I guess I'm being naive. But it's quite evident right now Al Gore has become an even bigger threat to the Republix psyche than any Clinton could hope for. Why?

First, Gore's movie won an Oscar! The only conservative to win an Oscar was Charlton Heston for Ben Hur way back in 1959. Shit, I wasn't even a zygote back then. Their actors suck and will forever be limited to small screen achievement..right Patricia Heaton, Kelsey Grammar, Suzanne Sommers, Pat Sajak? Emmy's aren't ever going to be as good as Oscars you poor things. Go cry in your scotch and find something to sell on QVC.

Second, Al Gore has become cool! No conservative is ever going to be seen as cool. None of their causes or ideas ever have a snowball's chance in Cheney's lair of ever becoming cool. For example: Join the military so we don't have to! Sex is only for procreation! Gay people scare us because we are afraid we might be gay too! If God liked polar bears he wouldn't be drowning them! Black people wanting an apology for slavery are whiners! Unions mean less money for spoiled heiresses and more money for lazy workers! The 9/11 families should shut the fuck up!

See what I mean? Not one of those ideas is ever going to get a public service announcement on MTV, a colored rubber bracelet or an ad campaign with The Gap.

Third, Al Gore won the popular vote in the 2000 presidential election and that was when he was perceived as being an exaggerating stiff! He says he's not going to run in the 2008 race yet he's polling at 14%. Better than all the second tier candidates on both sides. The Republix are pissing in their pleated Dockers at the thought of Al Gore changing his mind and jumping into the race.

The Republix would rather destroy a movement that's sole purpose is to ensure the survival of the human race for eons and to leave their children a planet to thrive upon, than risk a Democrat getting elected as the President of our nation for four years or so. They would rather go to war, allow poison into our air and water causing disease, destroy ecosystems that support agriculture, destroy our few remaining natural wonders than risk losing the power their corporate funders enable them to have...and that's their inconvenient truth.

Dear John

2007-02-22T14:37:00.000-08:00

Dear John Q. Troop,

Hello, how are you? Uncle Dick said that Iraq is a roaring success so you must be doing fine! Hopefully we can keep those weakling 'Merka Haters who say otherwise from debating in the Senate so more of your brave brothers in arms can join you soon.

There have been some nasty rumors lately but we both know that lefty liberal mediacrats are behind them. Thank Jaysus you only get good old Rush Limbaugh on the radio there. Can you believe that they are saying you guys shouldn't be forced to take that anthrax vaccine just because it made a few whiners sick? Are those terrorist-emboldeners trying to aid Al Qaeda's evil plan to hurt the big-time 'Merkan profit margins of our pharmaceutical industry or what? Don't worry, we won't let them!

And don't pay any attention to those rumors spread by those Islamolovers that the Bush Administration isn't taking care of you when you come home too hurt to fight for our freedom! Geez! A little missing caulk and chipped paint should be no big deal to someone who's missing a leg or two. I mean, after all, you volunteered and everything.

John, I know you may think that we are leaving you in Iraq for another and that you may think we are more in love with the idea of you than actually in love with you. Sure it looks like we use you to keep those who want truth and accountability off our back. But, it's not like we use all of you to do that. To be honest (for once) John, you are becoming kind of needy. Can't you just come home and be quiet about your so-called problems? Do we have to actually support you with more than platitudes and yellow ribbon magnets? I mean after all, you did volunteer and everything.

We don't want to break up with you John, but if you aren't going to be there for our needs without thinking of your own...well, there are other fish in the sea.

Sincerely,

The Republican Party & Joe Lieberman

You Want The Truth? You Can't Handle The..Hoohaa!

2007-02-11T23:00:00.000-08:00

When I think of my mom I think of a woman who was honest and frank which served all of the people in her life well. She didn't hide anything or make up silly names to hide the facts even if it made her uncomfortable. She would not have tried to protect me from something as important as proper vocabulary. Alas, not all are so fortunate.

For example...say one is driving down the street with their child or grandchild in a car and said child sees the word 'vagina' on a billboard advertising a charity benefit with a showing of the play The Vagina Monologues. If the child then asks 'What is a vagina'? ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION! Do not pitch a hissy forcing the theater owner to change the word on the marquee to some demeaning immature nickname because the kid is just going ask 'What is a hoohaa?' instead of 'What is a vagina?'. So, irregardless, you're going to have to answer the damn question. And, who in their right mind would take any adult seriously that believes one term for a part of a woman's reproductive system is some sing-songy word like hoohaa?

If they do not learn the proper term or you act like a freaked out prude about it..that child will one day be a middle-aged adult that is deathly afraid of vaginas and has yet to graduate from a drinking vessel past the sippy-cup. In other words: single, no job, no grandkids, living in your basement, sucking well vodka from a sippy cup, clad in dirty underwear, and feverishly typing hate-filled rhetoric on the Free Republic. Get the picture? So, you can either swallow your embarrassment and tell the kid what a vagina is...or your legacy will be 'I Raised A Unabomber'. Folks, there are consequences for avoiding truth.

This week our House of Representatives is debating the Iraq Occupation and we learned of a word that the Republic Party finds even scarier than vagina and that word is Iraq. Ironically, overly tanned and tearful Republics while afraid of facing the truth in Iraq are not at all frightened of the word 'terror' or accusing 70% of the nation's citizenry of supporting it. A wave of irrational fear has gripped all Goofy Obnoxious Partisans. Rep. Virgil Goode (R-Damn I Wished I Thought of Callin Them 'Macaca' First) is really really ascairt of Muslims because he fears they may vandalize the sancrosanct symbol of our nation- our currency. Red State House Rep Todd Akin (R-The Show-Me What A Dumbass I Am State) expressed his fear for Davy Crockett's lack of Congressional support. Republic water-schluppers are so afraid of black people that the mere thought of one becoming president puts them in denial.

While The Avoider In Chief may not appear to be afraid of the truth, he in fact is so afraid of it that he's created his own parallel dimension where the truth is what he says it is, it doesn't matter what anyone else says or thinks and no official record of his words are kept: " Iraq? Why I think we're doin a heckuva job! And without a doubt them Ahranians (Shia) supply them bombs to the insurgents (Sunni) killing our soldiers and not the Ahraqi Shia militias! Doesn't make a lick of sense to me either but hey, go figure! Sure that 'evidence' my military fellas gave the press might look a little sketchy, but I'm tellin ya that writin on them bombs is a special Ahranian dialect that just looks like it's somethin else-ya see, it's all in the pronunciation which as you all know is somethin I know a little about. Heh heh heh heh."

The consequences of the Republics' Party truth avoidance has been more costly than the havoc wrought by Ted Kaczinski. Global climate change threatens our very existence. 3,133 American soldiers dead. Nearly 700,000 Iraqis dead. Tens of thousands maimed and/or mentally destroyed. Billions in wasted taxpayer money. A massive debt to authoritarian regimes like China and Saudi Arabia that American children who are now deemed by some too young to understand the word vagina, will end up paying as adults.

A great American president understood that fear and truth if manipulated presented the greatest danger to our freedom than any physical threat could. I don't know about you but I'm tired of those who fear the truth and use fear to distort the truth . The consequences are never paid by those who use the fear but instead by those who are manipulated by it.

It's been said that 'the truth shall set us free' but did you know that Drinking Liberally can set you free as well? No lie. Just join us all this Sunday at Sullivan's Irish Pub on Madison Avenue in Lakewood, Ohio for some truth, freedom, possibly some chicken wings or fish & chips and most definitely some frosty cool adult beverages. See you then!

Time After Time

2007-01-30T19:21:00.000-08:00

This post's title is one of the few songs my mother and I both loved when I was a teenager. It's a sweet song about loving someone you can't always connect with while always holding them in your heart . She was born in 1932 and had me in 1965. It's rare for a girl who came of age in the 40's and lived most of her life as a Republican to share an affinity for a song with one who did the same in the 80's and lived her life as a Liberal. As much as you may love someone, it can be difficult to connect because of your differences. But occasionally something as simple as a song can connect people and Ms. Lauper's best song was one that bridged that divide for my mom and I.

My mother and I shared looks I've always been told. We also shared a 'social butterfly' tendency, loud laugh, loud mouth, a twinge of the stereotypical Irish temper and equally stereotypical Irish love of adult beverages. Oh yeah...also red hair; though it's been years since either of us had the real thing. But until recent years, one thing we had never shared was the same politics.

As a Clash-loving rebellious teen I never had any luck convincing my conservative mom that Reagan was a dangerous human hating feeb. As a Green Day-loving liberal grown woman, it was not hard to convince my conservative mom that George Bush was/is what I thought Reagan was...times a thousand. She regretted her 2000 vote for Bush a million times more than she regretted her vote for Nixon decades earlier. My mom voted for Kerry in 2004, registered as a Democrat for the first time in her life in 2006 and voted a straight D ticket.

She would say often in our conversations leading up to the November elections that a part of her was glad she wasn't going to be around for what she thought could be in store for our nation and the world. I knew she didn't mean...'Sucks to be you'...but instead it was her way of asking me 'what are you going to do about it?'. It reminded me of my childhood when she'd say to me after dinner (my daily chore was doing the dishes)...'the dishes don't clear themselves from the table, wash themselves and magically appear in the cupboards' then I'd reply 'No duh Mooooom!' and wash, dry, then put away those uncooperative dishes. So I assured my mom I was doing my part and so were many many people I know, to clean our nation up with as little breakage as possible.

Last week I got to say goodbye to her in person. I tried to tell her everything I needed to and thank her for everything she'd done for me, but choked. When I got back in town, I e-mailed my dad with a list of things I forgot to say to her and he read them to her for me. Among many: I thanked her for getting my dad to let me date, for not taking my car privileges away even though I got into an accident the first time I took it out, for teaching me to stand up for what I believed in, for arguing with me, and for voting the way she did in November.

Last night when I learned she was gone, a flurry of new things I wanted to tell her but would never get to, entered my mind. Then it occurred to me...what I needed was a song.

"if you're lost you can look--and you will find me
time after time
if you fall I will catch you--I'll be waiting
time after time "

Mah Fella 'Merkans...Kiss Mah Ass

2007-01-25T18:31:00.000-08:00

Hello Liberal Drinkers!

I know, I know...you have been waiting with bated breath for my SOTU rebuttal. Sure Jim Webb did a bang up job beyotch-slapping the Promise-breaker In Chief, but I have my own piece to say. Here goes:

My Fellow Americans,

If any of you believed one word out of George Bush's whiskey-hole you are the biggest dumbasses on the planet...nay in the universe. If you really did and aren't doing anything this weekend; I'd love to play a few games of poker with you. Please bring a covered dish and your life's savings. Momma needs a new pair of shoes!

Thank you and God Bless 'Merka.

While most of Dubya's speech was nothing more than recyled ca-ca, a few things did pique my interest this time around. The first being what he didn't say. There was not one mention of New Orleans or the Gulf Coast. What happened to the promises he made to the region in the 2006 SOTU? Or during that choreographed Well Lit Jackson Square New Orleans Is Gonna Rise Again Bullhorn Moment? Nothing? No shit. Has he not even shared the promised Rocking Chair/Mint Julep On Lott's Porch Moment with his party's new Minority Leader? No? I suppose if he had; we'd have seen it on an infinite loop on Fox News while Sean Hannity simultaneously creamed his pleated Dockers in a yellow school bus.

Next, I nearly shot a swig of a very nice buttery chardonnay from my nose when Bush brought up his nifty 'tax-break' solution to get all us 'Merkans health insurance coverage. Dude, if I don't make enough money to afford my own health insurance then I don't pay enough income tax to qualify for the effing deduction! That guy's never seen a 1040 in his life has he? Sorry...that's a dumb rhetorical question.

Third, I noticed he failed to acknowledge a very important person in attendance. He gave POTUS props to that guy who saved that kid on the subway tracks in NYC, an immigrant NBA player, a soldier (of course) and some chick who came up with the earth shatteringly brilliant idea of playing classical music to fetuses. Yet one of Hillary Clinton's guests, Cesar Borja Jr. the son of a real American hero, went unacknowledged as did his father. Cesar Sr. died as a result of the Bush administration's intentional incompetence. That Bush invoked the 9/11 tragedy as a knife to twist in our nation's back for the umpteenth time to scare us into accepting the escalation in Iraq; yet failed to acknowledge Cesar Borja Sr. & son speaks volumes.

Finally, heck...I'll just cut and paste this one directly from the transcript:

"A second task we can take on together is to design and establish a volunteer Civilian Reserve Corps. Such a corps would function much like our military reserve. It would ease the burden on the Armed Forces by allowing us to hire civilians with critical skills to serve on missions abroad when America needs them. It would give people across America who do not wear the uniform a chance to serve in the defining struggle of our time. "

Excuse me? Personal aside to Dubya McAwol: Struggle this! If civilians want to 'serve' in your imperialistic clusterf*cks they can apply to Halliburton, Dyncorp, CACI or Blackwater. In that case at least they can sock away a couple of hundred thousand bucks to set their families up before they die in vain. Maybe you could tie this program to your Faith Based Vote Bribery Initiative...sign up just those lucky Kreeeshtjuhns who unconditionally love you for bringing Armeggedon so close to fruition.

There's no telling what direction a Civilian Reserve Corps could lead our nation to...well that's not entirely true. Bush neglects to understand that even his rabid kreeshtjuhn followers are loathe to risk their own hides let alone their spawn's to volunteer to serve in his struggle. Putting the safe sounding 'Civilian' label on the package doesn't fool anyone.

Regardless of what was actually said, Bush's message to the voters who kicked his Rubberstampers to the curb and the new Democratic Majority led Congress boils down to this: Kiss my ass. I'm sending more troops to Iraq and there's nothing you can do about it. And since the last (GOP controlled) session of Congress appropriated a nice chunk of change before they closed for good, he's right. There really isn't anything Congress can do to stop this......for now.

God No Longer Blesses America. But, Can You Blame Him?

2007-01-11T16:08:00.000-08:00

Wednesday night's address by the delusional man-boy who fancies himself our president was the rare occasion Mr. Cleveland Drinking Liberally (aka Brian) & I actually listened rather than employ the mute and closed-caption features of our television. Not because we wanted to hear the word 'nuclear' bastardized for the 12,348th time via faux Texan dialect; but we were playing a drinking game associated with the speech and closed-captioning of Dubya McMushmouth's word pronunciation ends up looking like alien (not foreign,think Klingon) language subtitles. So in the interest of achieving the buzz necessary to keep ourselves from tossing objects at the television we can ill afford to replace...we listened.

The first thing we noticed at the end of the speech is that our purported Eeeeekvangelical-In-Chief neglected to close with the standard 'God bless America' or some variation thereof. Since he claims to answer to a 'higher father' rather than his biological version, I naturally assumed he meant God. Now, I think maybe he meant Tommy Chong. Anyhow, it seems even Bush realizes that God has had it up to his eyeballs with a citizenry that hasn't impeached his napoleonic sociopathic incompetent ass. America..no more blessing for you!

To convince Congress and America that this time he really is The Man With The Plan; Bush told us the following: "These 'new' troops are going to work with Iraqi forces to secure Bagdhad! We're gonna force the Iraqi government to take more responsibility for their security! Iraq is going to spend 10 billion dollars to rebuild infrastructure and create jobs! They're going to get the water & electricity working for the citizens!" Ummm yeah sounds great, except for one problem....ISN'T THAT WHAT WE WERE SUPPOSEDLY DOING THERE FOR THE LAST THREE F**KING YEARS COMMANDER SH*T-FOR-BRAINS? NEW STRATEGY MY ASS!

Okay. I suppose I'm being a bit unfair, Bush did announce one new strategy:

"Succeeding in Iraq also requires defending it's territorial integrity-and stabilizing the region in the face of the extremist challenge. This begins with addressing Iran and Syria."

"We are also taking other steps to bolster the security of Iraq and protect American interests in the Middle East. I recently ordered the deployment of an additional carrier strike group to the region."

What word leaps out at you? If you answered 'additional' , you win some duct-tape and plastic for your basement windows. Yes, kids. It seems that while Afghanistan is falling back into the hands of the Taliban and Iraq is on the brink of collapse due to a civil war; The Neococksuckers think poking a big stick at the hornet's nest of Iran is exactly the wise thing to do. Yea! We can't handle two wars so what the hell, let's take on another! They remind me of the Black Knight in Monty Python's Holy Grail... . Iran to America: 'What are you going to do, bleed on me?".

But, so far all the Democrats are proposing (save a few) is a 'non-binding' resolution that rebukes Bush's plan. Whoop-de-fucking-doo. That's not why a good many liberals spent money they could ill afford and precious time away from their families to give them the majority. Congress has the power to stop this madness. The Democratic majority has to finally get it through their insecure heads that we support that effort.

So Liberal Drinkers, please contact your senators and representatives, regardless of party affiliation, to express your dismay for a president who doesn't listen and a Congress that refuses to exercise it's Constitutional war powers. Maybe Dubya thinks that God no longer blesses us because we do not follow blindly; but we don't want either of them to believe we are damned as a result.

We've Got High Apple Pie In The Sky Hopes

2007-01-03T16:22:00.000-08:00

Hello Liberal Drinkers,

I was in Florida this past week. The land of Disney (and Tasering Unruly Third Graders). And I had a run in with hope; because when things suck beyond belief even a jaded bitch like me realizes there really is only one other alternative to it. I struggle constantly with hope as many of you may have at times. Is it a waste of time? Does it make the inevitable harder to cope with? Are you fooling yourself? Maybe a miracle will happen. Maybe it won't. But then you realize..your hope is not only for your own peace of mind but for the one you hope for.

A couple of weeks ago I thought of doing some snarky Cleveland DL Year In Review for my first message to you in the New Year; an idea so unoriginal I subconsciously..nay.. literally mocked the shit out of myself for thinking of it. Who the 'eff am I to do a Year In Review? Or more aptly; Do I Want To Spend All That Goddamn Time Going Back Through 12 Months of Messages To Do One? So then...what do I do? What do I write to you all about?

I could eulogize Gerry 'Fuck The East Timorese' Ford or Sadaam 'Fredo' Hussein who was whacked before he was tried for his and our crimes against the Kurds to appease the Gambini..oops I mean..Saudi...oops I mean the Al Sadr Family. By clicking on these links; you know the world is completely fucked up when I actually agree with the perpetually schnockered potentially heterosexual perpetually insecure Christoper Hitchens. Message to CH: 'Alright you scruffy often repulsive, likely odiferous, libertarianeoconicalcholicsemipenised mook...that's enough press for you. A few bouts of sanity-laden prose does not earn you my love, this was strictly a four-link-stand.'

I could write about Dubya McOedipuscomplex who wants to send more troops to Iraq just to piss off the 78% of this nation who thinks he's a batshit impotent incompetent puppet of Satan. But, we've beaten that horse (much like Congress) to death haven't we? I don't know about you but in the next ten years I would like the words 'resolve' and 'steadfast' completely eliminated from the dictionary for at least five decades. Perfectly good words, made irrelevant by one man. What a pity.

But I digress. I really do want to impart that message of hope, in the sense of my hope for others. This coming year:

1.) I hope the Democrats have the stones to take their investigations 'off the table' and into impeachment hearings against George Bush and Dick Cheney.

2.) I hope Oprah Winfrey realizes that inner city American poor kids aren't all that psyched about school uniforms over video games because school uniforms are creepily Orwellian and reek of forced subservient conformity that South African children may not object to, but free-thinking individualistic creative American kids sure the fuck do.

3.) I hope that Dick Cheney has another accident with his shotgun...alone, while cleaning it and recording the video on his cell phone. In a related hope..I hope CNN shows the same restraint in airing the Dick Cheney Gun Cleaning Accident cell-phone video as it had the Sadaam-Hanging cell-phone video.

4.) I hope liberal radio stays on in Columbus. Word is a wildly popular ratings competitive station there is going to be switched back to 'Conservative Radio'. Write the station..tell them Laura Ingraham is NOT progressive. Be sure to include in your critique of the station turnover that Ingraham is a heartless 'See You Next Tuesday'.

5.) I hope the 'Mea Crappa' media crowd of Chris Matthews, Joe Scarborough, Andrew Sullivan et al really take a long fucking look in the mirror....they were sooo gunning for this Iraq debacle up until a year or so ago that they labeled anyone bright enough to question it 'un-American' in the most McCarthy sense of the term. They spent years disparaging large groups of American citizens and excusing the unlawful detainment and torture of American citizens; let alone a misguided view of the Geneva Conventions. Now they publicly say it was wrong? Their current mea culpas are more than a day late (give or take four years) and more than a dollar short (try nearly half a trillion). Welcome to the club boys...pardon us if we do not applaud your entrance. I hope you can stand in front of that mirror, knowing who you are. If I were you I could not.

6.) I hope Keith Olbermann wins an Emmy.

7.) I hope all of you have the best next year imaginable.

8.) I hope the Cleveland Indians change their mascot and win the World Series.

9.) I hope that we finally take steps to curb global warming....NOW.

10.) I hope every liberal minded social drinker in the Cleveland area decides to sign up and become a Cleveland Drinking Liberally member (it's for your own good, really).

And a last one for my mom.

11.) I hope you get to see my neice/your granddaughter Carly graduate from high school.

Hope is the theme for 2007. So tell Britney to put her skivvies back on, fire her publicist, hire a financial planner and become a Democrat. Tell the Republicans that Conservatism is as dead as shoulder-pads, Raygunism and Newt Gingerich's psychotic hate-babble. We are going to raise the minimum wage, our parents are going to be able to afford their prescriptions, we are going to fund stem-cell research, and....whether some Democrats like it or not..we are going to bring our troops home from Iraq. At least I hope so.

Liberally yours,

Judy

Santa Baby

2006-12-22T04:43:00.000-08:00

Dear Santa,

I know there's a good chance you don't exist, but believing in you isn't any crazier an idea than believing in one of the many deities that drive billions to discriminate against and/or kill their fellow man. Of course the idea that reindeer can fly is kinda wacky, but is it any more so than believing in magical gold plates that can only be read with special glasses while covering your face with a black hat containing a brown rock? Sure, a several hundred year old fat white guy delivering 9 billion presents by mammalian-powered flying sleigh in one evening sounds impossible but so does immaculate conception. Oops, sorry! I know, I know..you aren't fat, you're big-boned.

Since many of my fellow human beings find the concept of not believing in imaginary invisible figures capable of fantastically impossible feats to be incomprehensible and since I am tired of the wide-eyed open-mouthed horror-filled looks given when I even hint that such entities based in organized religion may not exist; I've decided to believe in you. I have decided to convert to Santology.

We Santologists believe in giving toys to kids, free milk and cookies, singing jolly carols, working hard, decorating trees, maintaining large bellies that shake when we laugh and extreme sleigh-riding. We do not discriminate against anybody save those who haven't been good for goodness sake and even then, the worst thing that can happen is receiving a lump of coal. But, Santologists are also very forgiving. Coal receipients get a clean slate on December 26th and have a whole year to become good and receive presents 364 days later.

I have to tell you Santa, one downside of Santology is knowing when everybody is sleeping and awake. Voyeurism is kind of pervy; not to mention Orwellian. The snoring is more than a little annoying and I wish they'd quit hitting that freaking snooze button every five minutes. I don't know how you've put up with it for so long and maintained your jolly composure. Any chance of slipping some Vicodin in my stocking so I can deal? Also, we really need to find a more ecological alternative to coal-lumps for the bad folks. Strip mining and mountain-top removal is decidedly bad. How about reindeer poop? You'll need more reindeer of course. And don't forget the largest load has to go to that ranch in Crawford, TX.

Anyhow Santa, let's cut to the chase. Since I have been very good this year and recently converted to Santology, I believe that means I am entitled to some gifts from you. Here's my list Big Guy, see what you can do:

1.) End Global Warming
2.) Impeachment of both George Bush & Dick Cheney
3.) End war
4.) Marriage equality for all.
5.) Elimination of religious fundamentalism
6.) A cure for AIDS
7.) Healthcare for all
8.) Compassion for the other creatures with whom we share the planet
9.) Equality for women all over the world
10.) End poverty

If you can fit into chimneys, deliver billions of gifts in the span of twelve hours, teach reindeer to fly, get thousands of elves to work for room and board, know everybody's sleeping habits and state of goodness/badness; then the items on my wish list should more than fit within the realm of your core competencies. The cookies & milk will be on the coffee table next to the organic carrots for Blitzen et al. Thanks Santa! See you Sunday night!

The No Shit Sherlock Report

2006-12-07T14:56:00.000-08:00

Hello Liberal Drinkers!

It's finally official. Iraq is a quagmire, we cannot 'stay this course' and need to leave someday. But...even though us traitorous America-hating moonbat liberals have been saying exactly that for years; we needed a bipartisan panel of retired politicos to take six months to study up then write a f***ing book about it. Good thing Jim Baker successfully defended the Saudis against those mean old 9/11 families suing them or he might not have the gravitas needed to lead this esteemed group of experts of the obvious.

Another conclusion the Iraq Study Group drew, that the angry bitter far left wing have known from day one, is the Bush Administration has been lying to the American people. I doubt this little fact-nugget is going to make the trip to Scarborough Country or into the equation on the O'Reilly Factor, but it seems that the Bush Administration has been underreporting the violence in Iraq. In July, US officials reported 93 incidents of violence but the ISG found over 1,100. So last year when Bush misunderestimated that 30,000 Iraqis have died as a result of our invasion & occupation of their country? Do the math. Wait! Those hippie scum at Johns Hopkins University did just that for us when they released this study estimating over 650,000 Iraqi invasion/occupation related casualties. Of course, C Student Legacy Boy of 'Is Our Children Learning' fame scoffed that the JHU study was 'not credible' and his media lapdogs dutifully buried that bone.

What the ISG report doesn't do is get us the hell out any time soon, but instead estimates our earliest Iraq departure date sometime at the end of 2008; conveniently allowing the Codpiece Stuffer In Chief to finish his 'War Prezeeedency'. So, given the Johns Hopkins math....maybe a million Iraqis will have been liberated from their mortal coil by the time the ink on Exxon's oil field contracts is dry.

Speaking of Exxon, here is yet another ISG conclusion tin-foiled hat clad liberals have been bitching about since we invaded Iraq that promises to be conspicuously absent from The Wolf "Sigh, McCain's Such A Dreamy Maverick!" Blitzer Situation Room: it was really all about the oil after all. Those brave bipartisan commission coots predictably recommended privatization of Iraq's oil fields; a perfect solution to stop the three Iraqi sects from fighting over the oil is to just take it away from them. Just like my mom used to do when my siblings and I fought over a toy. I call first dibs on this statement: the only ISG recommendation to be adopted by the Bush Administration will be this one.

Pundits on both sides have been either wailing in protest or jumping for joy over this report. They conveniently forget the kind of attention the Bush Administration gives to the recommendations of bipartisan commissions. Except for the oil-privatization recommendation, why would the Bush Administration be the least bit interested in doing anything differently? Because they want us to win? Puhleeze. As they have reminded us on many occasion: 'they aren't running again', 'they don't pay attention to polls' and it will 'be up to future presidents' to extricate us from Iraq. Do you think just 'cuz a few of Poppy's Ensure-swiggin buddies told Dubya to change course that he's actually going to listen? Hell no.

What's going to happen is: Bob 'I'm Not Don' Gates is going to make a trip to Iraq, promise a brand new spiffy 'plan' to train the Iraqis to stand up and ask for six months to get the job done. In six months, Bob 'I Swear I'm Really Not Don' Gates is going to make another trip to Iraq with a newer spiffier plan to train the Iraqis to stand up, ask for and get another six months to get the job done. This time next year, the ISG will come out with their own follow up report giving the Bush Administration a failing grade just like their 9/11 Panel brethren. The press will be in an uproar about it for a few weeks, then they'll forget all about it because the POTUS race will be in full swing. Each party will promise to have the solution to our Iraq problem and Dubya will spend the rest of his term marking off the days on his Back To Crawford Calendar.

I hope I'm wrong and not writing a post about the ISG Failing Grade Report, 4000 dead US soldiers and 750,000 dead Iraqis this time next year kids but I know in my heart that unless something else happens, I will be. Well, suddenly I'm chilled to the bone, tired and sad. Luckily (weather permitting) I get to warm up with some adult beverages and cheer up with some fabulous liberals this Sunday after 6pm at our Drinking Liberally meeting at Sullivan's Irish Pub on Madison Avenue in Lakewood, Ohio. See you there!

Liberally,

Judy

So Many Wars, So Little Time

2006-11-30T17:05:00.000-08:00

Hello Liberal Drinkers,

It's the Most Wonderful Time of The Year Kids! War on Christmas Season is in full swing and the first casualty is Walmart. Poor behemoth company feeding billions of dollars to greedy spoiled rotten done nothing to deserve their wealth except successfully make it through a birth canal spawn of Sam Walton! Sigh, the 'free market' is such a fickle mistress.

On cue, Bill O'Delusionally in his trademark ignoranting manner is 'boycotting' Crate and Barrel for not forcing their part-time minimum wage seasonal staff to greet customers with 'Merry Christmas' as a condition of employment regardless of their own or their customers' religious affiliation, let alone free will. Financial analysts predictably expect C&B's sales and stock value will rise sharply on the news of an O'Reilly boycott. Hear that Walmart? But seriously kids; Billy's especially self-righteous hysterical ranting against imaginary Baby Jeebus B-day Haters has nothing to do with his new book or making up shit to make himself rich or anything. He swears on his faloofah it doesn't.

Well fellow Secular Progressives, thank Clooney we have another War to worry about! No you silly geese! I don't mean Iraq! Iraq's not a war! It's a global struggle to..nah. It's a civil wa..oh shit, can't say that. Whatever it is, Chimpy McPlugginghisearsandstompinghisfeet says we will stay in-Iraq-to-win till Cheney's lair freezes over cuz Exxon has not gotten it's oil yet and that's just not fair to their lobbyists.

No, the war I'm talking about is the one in which the Bush administration (ironic surname in this context, huh?) is askin good Kreeshtjuhn 'Merkans to redeploy homeland forces to fight the Second War On Orgasms ! The FBI fought the First WOO in 2005 when under the leadership of Alberto 'Whips & Chains' Gonzales, they bravely took on the Salami-Slapping Video Militias. Regretfully, my decade old delusion that when I was an adult under the age of thirty I was free to get my safe-sex freak on, totally disqualifies me from signing up to fight this war. But I imagine there are millions of Young Republicans who qualify for this service with little or no sacrifice.

To be really serious for a moment folks...this time I really do mean it, I'm sick to death of 'Wars On ___'. I use that crap terminology to highlight it's absurdity because every night we watch ignorant fools on TV or listen to them on the radio promoting some 'war' on this or that. You cannot war against holidays, dental plaque, cellulite, drugs, poverty, diseases, crime or terror. Warring against drugs hasn't done anything but put addicted people in jail and perpetuate violence. Warring against poverty isn't the answer, who do you fight? The poor? The rich? We can't battle poverty but we can lift people from it. How do you war against terror? By invading a country, dropping uranium-filled bombs killing thousands of innocents? You can't war against terror without creating terror by waging war.

Well paid political opinion-makers and marketing gurus have coopted the term 'war' to fit their needs. War is horrifying. When jackoffs on Fox or in the office of White House Spin or the marketing department of Proctor & Gamble use this term in every facet of our language, it dilutes the meaning. War on Terror=War on Cavities=War on Whatever.

To finish this thought on wars, I present an open final comment on the subject to Bill O'Reilly himself: You are not a Culture Warrior. You are nothing but a bitter old man whose dick cannot rise above his thighs without a blue pill and that pisses you off. If you didn't work in cable news you'd be that scary neighborhood guy who is unshaven, unshowered, wearing a stained wife beater with equally stained boxer shorts, black socks with sandals and yelling at kids to get off your damn lawn. What a difference your gig on that bastion of culturally significant media, Inside Edition, made for you Peabody-boy. Shove your Culture War up your ass.

Well my liberal drinking buddies of Cleveland this Sunday we meet at Sullivan's Irish Pub on Madison Avenue in Lakewood Ohio after 6pm to talk politics and Wage a War on Our Livers with frosty irish brews, pale golden chardonnay or ...I know, I know. It was a joke to test if you were really reading this whole thing or not. No more wars, on livers or anything else. We'll just give them a good spanking ;) See you Sunday.

Liberally Yours,

Judy

Gobble Gobble Gobble

2006-11-21T19:47:00.000-08:00

Hello Liberal Drinkers,

First order of biz, no DL meeting this Sunday as it's a holiday weekend. I expect you all will have gained at least six pounds by then and need to regain your sanity from a whole weekend with relatives. If you are like me, part of a 'mixed' family, you will be forced to spend many hours in close proximity with hardcore Republicans. So kids, I leave you with some advice for this especially special 2006 Thanksgiving.

Do not call your in-law who is a loyal Limbaugh fan a 'Dicko-head'. I tried it once, believe me when I say they do not appreciate clever plays on words. Feel free to point out that he/she blindly supports a man who made his immigrant cleaning lady go on drug runs for him, brings a month's worth of viagra on a weekend junket to a third world country known for it's underage sex trade and mocks people inflicted with deadly incurable debilitating diseases. Laugh mockingly when he/she defends him. Duck when they throw the turkey leg at you.
For those of you with pro-life relatives of child-bearing age who are against embryonic stem-cell research, remind them that there are thousands of snowflake babies available to take up residence for 9 months in their family's uterus-owner. Do not ask them to pass the mashed potatoes immediately afterward. Don't forget to duck if they grab the other turkey leg, one of those to the forehead can leave a nasty welt.
Drink wine, beer, vodka, grain alchol, whiskey, cough syrup...whatever you can get your hands on to get through the day. Best to use up a favor by having a spouse/date/friend on hand as your sober chauffeur.
Gloat. When the subject of the elections comes up? Dance around chanting 'Blue Ohio! In Your Face!' while smacking your own ass. Hey...how many times did these jackoffs tell you that you were a traitor for not thinking Dubya McPoppy'sGottasavemyass is the next best thing since...oh yeah...God? Do this immediately after dinner before the tryptophan kicks in while you still have the energy.
If Grandma/Grandpa is Republican...ah don't do anything except remind them that voting day for national elections has been changed to February 9th.
Corrupt your nieces and nephews with Republican parents. Talk about global warming and the monster deficit they're going to get stuck with because their folks needed a tax break to fit spa trips and golf weekends into the family budget. If they're under five just teach them to say "Bush Sucks".
Remember that 1 through six are just jokes. Enjoy your holiday. Savor the food and the time you spend with your family. Eat, drink, laugh, reminisce, and remember that blood is thicker than politics.

One last thing. A little shout of thankfulness to all of you who have participated in and supported this chapter, I am soooo thankful for the wonderful people I have had the pleasure to get to know, converse, drink and laugh with over these last two years. Have a great holiday kids. See you December 3rd.

Liberally and thankfully yours,

Judy

Breaking News: Glenn Beck Wrestles Limbaugh For 'Big Fat Idiot' Title

2006-11-16T21:34:00.000-08:00

Happy Friday Liberal Drinkers!

I trust you all are starting to recover from your mid-term election hangover. Now we all have to patiently wait for January before we witness all the lame GOP ducks waddling off to K-Street or Merck or Exxon etc. to begin/resume their lobbyist careers. But at least we have the GOP toe-sucking media hacks to amuse us with their frantic hair-pulling and cursing us all out for electing the Democrats in the meantime: "You put a WOMAN in as House Speaker! She has a vagina you fools! It's an established fact that vaginas embolden the terrorists!"

Case in point is GOP media-concubine, reinforcer of that charming Republican-Racist stereotype CNN's Glenn Beck (R-Needs To Chug A Tall Glass Of Shut The Fuck Up). While interviewing Keith Ellison, an American citizen democratically elected to represent Minnesota in Congress, Beck asked him to prove he's not going to kill us all with a dirty bomb because....gasp...he ain't a white Kreeeshtjuhn with a comb-over! (Quick aside to CNN: Glenn Beck is the human equivalent of chewing aluminum foil with a mouth full of metal fillings).

I wonder how Glenn or those like him would feel, if just as a hypothetical, Keith Olbermann asked Trent Lott (R-Pointy White Hood) in an interview if he was going to try to bring back racial segregation now that he's been given the #2 seat in the Senate? Which, actually given Lott's past statements and actions, wouldn't be nearly the unfair outrageous out-of-line question Beck asked Ellison. Well, we'd know what would happen..Keith would become MSNBC's Chernobyl correspondent until his contract was up.

You know kids, it's as if the GOP's media flunkies haven't learned one damn thing after the voters cut their masters off at the knees. Fox News sends out an internal memo hunting for proof (real or not) for their 'Terrrrrists Love Democrats' Talking Point, Sean Hannity's uni-brow has morphed into a hairy-headband-of-hate while he spews incoherent false accusations and insults at a grandmother of six who will be the FIRST woman Speaker of the House. Anne Coulter accolytes are sending envelopes of white powder to Air America. Bill O'Really-Needs-Better-Ratings trotted out his 'War On Fictional Jeebus B-Day Haters' a whole two weeks early cuz well he's got nothing else now has he? Does the American public have to draw these feebs on cable news a fucking map to Cluetown before they realize we don't buy that tired Orwellian crap they keep flinging at us like angry chimpanzees?

While we won the first battle for checks and balances November 7th. We have yet to win the second, which is just as important, the one for a fair accurate unbiased news media- the 'fourth branch' of government. An informed electorate is essential to democracy. And, I don't know about you but I'm tired of watching these hacks insulting our intelligence, lying to us about what's really going on, witholding information to protect politicians, exhibiting blatant bias for the right while not allowing the left an equal voice on the airwaves our tax dollars paid to create and our monthly bills pay to support. If we want to hold onto a balanced government, if we want to restore and maintain the check on power. We must be as passionate about forcing news organizations into serving that role as we are about electing the right people into office. For more information on this very important issue check out: http://www.stopbigmedia.com/ , http://www.fair.org/index.php, http://www.freepress.net/

"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it. Thomas Paine "

Please join us this Sunday at Sullivan's Irish Pub on Madison Avenue in Lakewood, Ohio. We will lift a glass to toast the spirit of Thomas Paine, a true journalist, a rebel-patriot whose published words spurred the men of his time to revolt against their British occupiers and lay their lives on the line to found this country we love.

Liberally Yours,

Judy

Breaking News: Bush's Brain Lobotomized

2006-11-09T17:39:00.000-08:00

Hellooooooo Liberal Drinkers!

Humor me for a moment kids. I have one last message for K-Rove, Satan's albino bastard son:

Kiss my liberalsecularhomoagendapromotinpeaceniktreehugginfeminazi ass! Never ever ever underestimate the power of a lot pissed off Americans over dirty corporate lobbyist money, your passe sloganeering and tired dirty tricks. Looks like your corpulent corrupt pasty tender bum is going to be spending time in Shotgun Cheney's 'naughty' room. Not to worry Rovey-poo, remember the United States does not torture. Buck up you evil little camper; I even have an idea for your 'safe word', how 'bout Pelosi.

My, that felt good. For those of you that missed Tuesday night's festivities I have to tell you I felt like I was watching the Brown's win the Super-Bowl but instead we got to send one to the US Senate! Sullivan's was packed with liberals and we were hooping and hollering every time a red seat turned blue; which was so often we had to lubricate our throats with frosty irish brews to keep our voices strong.

It's difficult to pick my favorite part of the 2006 Mid-Term Elections but here are my top ten:

Ken 'Bush's Nutty Buddy' Blackwell concedes like..oh I don't know...immediately.
Rick 'Santorum' Santorum' makes his concession speech surrounded by his eerily 'Children of The Corn'-like brood.
Macacaberg has to find a place in his den at home for his noose & racist flag.
Conrad Burns got Testered and failed.
Limbaugh finally admits he really is a big fat idiot
JD Hayworth of AZ (R-Biff Tannen), Crazy Curt Weldon (R-Under Investigation WMD Hallucinator), Don Sherwood of PA (R-I Beat My Mistress But Not My Wife), Tom Reynolds of NY (R-De Facto Congressional Page Pimp) are all outta the House. Buh-bye!
How 'bout some cheese with that loss DeWhine?
Five words: Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.
Six words: Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. Chew on that Uni-brow Boy!
Last but not least, two words: BLUE OHIO

Okay, enough of the gloating. Now that we have finally pulled the country back towards sanity for the time being, we must realize that this ain't gonna be easy. For the last six years Dick Cheney has orchestrated an unprecedented executive power grab; that has not changed. The left has a really tough job ahead: Iraq is still a mess and so's the economic state of the middle-class. There's fair trade, energy independence, healthcare, education, national security, an illegal wiretapping program to deal with, and so on. So enjoy this moment, pat yourselves on the back (especially you Chuck) and meet us at Sullivan's Irish Pub on Madison Avenue in beautiful blue Lakewood Ohio to not only promote democracy one pint at a time but secure it for generations to come. See you there.

Liberally yours,

Judy
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